I’m coming to you all, once again, for parenting advice. You’ve supported me through my experience with Postpartum Depression. You’ve offered advice when I was Parenting with a Heavy Heart. You have even stepped up when things got serious around here… remember the controversy surrounding hand-me-down undies? 🙂 Now, I am looking to you all to help me with Blanket and Talktus.
Blanket and Talktus… my 8 year olds “comfort” items. The blanket I made for Jacob was the first quilt I had ever sewn (and those of you who know me know that the words Kristen and sewing do not typically go hand in hand) . Talktus is a sweet little stuffed dog Jacob grew attached to soon after his 1st birthday. My children never sucked their thumbs. They never used pacifiers. Instead, all 4 of them have attached themselves to a special blanket or stuffed animal. In Jacob’s case, he dearly loves one of each.
Jacob does not take his blanket anywhere with him, except when we go out of town to relatives houses for a weekend. Both blanket and Talktus are simply there to provide comfort to him when he sleeps. He’s never really dragged them around everywhere, but if they are missing when bedtime hits, he can’t, or will not, go to sleep.
Jacob is now 8. 8 years old and still sleeps with his stuffed animal and blanket. He’s had a couple of sleep overs, and much to my relief, the boys have brought their own stuffed animals as well. So, my parenting question of the moment… at what age should you try to wean your kid off of their nighttime comfort items? At what age are you too old for comfort? Jacob does not at all seem like he has any interest in giving them up. Right now, it doesn’t seem to be hurting anything, but I know a day will come when he will be made to feel embarrassed for still sleeping with a blanket and stuffed dog. I would love to hear your opinions on this one!
Speaking of comfort.. how about comfort food? As much as meat loaf happens to not be one of my favorite things, it always makes me think of home. I don’t even remember mom making meatloaf all that often, but for some reason eating it today still transports me back to the dinner table
This recipe for Diner Meat Loaf Muffins from Cooking Light is just about one of the best meat loaf variations I’ve tried. I substituted Panko Breadcrumbs for the crackers, but that was the only change I made. I hope you enjoy and I hope, no matter what your age, it makes you think back to home… a place where you were never too old for comfort.
Diner Meat Loaf Muffins (from Cooking Light)
1 teaspoon olive oil
1 cup finely chopped onion
1/2 cup finely chopped carrot
1 teaspoon dried oregano
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup ketchup, divided
1 1/2 pounds ground beef, extra lean (raw)
1 cup finely crushed fat-free saltine crackers (about 20)
2 tablespoons prepared mustard
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 large eggs
Cooking spray
Preheat oven to 350°.
Heat the olive oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add chopped onion, chopped carrot, dried oregano, and minced garlic; sauté 2 minutes. Cool.
Combine onion mixture, 1/2 cup ketchup, and the remaining ingredients except cooking spray in a large bowl.
Spoon the meat mixture into 12 muffin cups coated with cooking spray. Top each with 2 teaspoons ketchup. Bake at 350° for 25 minutes or until a thermometer registers 160°. Let stand for 5 minutes.
CALORIES 276 (28% from fat); FAT 8.6g (sat 3g,mono 4g,poly 0.8g); IRON 3.9mg; CHOLESTEROL 131mg; CALCIUM 48mg; CARBOHYDRATE 21.7g; SODIUM 759mg; PROTEIN 28.7g; FIBER 1.8g
I was 9 and my parents got me a dog, but I know that’s not a very cost-effective way of doing it. But it worked!
As for the ultimate comfort food, I think of fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy and green beans. 🙂
Comfort food is a must in my house! One meal I haven’t tackled yet is meatloaf. Well, I should say I attempted it, and it came out like a bland log of ground beef. I think I must try it again now in this muffin form!
.-= Jessica @ How Sweet´s last blog ..Coconut Cream Blondies. =-.
I still generally consider myself a kid and have no children so I can’t offer any help with parenting questions. However, I did want to say that your photo is adorable and I love that you included nutrition facts with this recipe.
.-= sarah´s last blog ..masterpiece together =-.
Every child is different. Some kids will just naturally grow out of the stage (my husband says t was that way for him) other kids may need some prompting. My youngest in particular had a blanket, his bebe, and this may seem cruel to some but eventually we just took it away. It was obvious that he just wanted to have it and it wasn’t really a comfort thing as much as it was an attention thing. Does that make sense? Anyway, I don’t know that that helps with your particular situation but that was mine. 🙂
.-= Jenny´s last blog ..Ask Away! =-.
I have no children, but I will say that my sister and I both (at 22 and 30 respectively) STILL to this day both sleep with our comfort items and we are happy, sane, successful adults. I don’t recall ever being teased for it. My bf thinks is cute when I cuddle up with him and my baby pillow.
As for comfort food, tomato soup and grilled cheese…also baked mac & cheese. Mmmmmm……
When my eldest was 12, he was still sleeping with a favourite stuffed toy (Ernie from the Muppets). One day I took it to the Drycleaners. When it came back I put it in the cupboard. He never noticed it was gone. I guess it had just become a habit, rather than a comfort. My youngest had a favourite blanket which he lost while we were out shopping when he was about 4. He got over it once he knew it was gone forever.
.-= barbara´s last blog ..Queen of Tomato Tarts =-.
I was just having this conversation with my sisters. My daughter is 8 and still sleeps with a baby (she named her Made in China when she was 2 years old) and her two blankets. She isn’t attached to them during the day and is a very independent girl. But, she has to have them at night. Honestly, she can take them with her to college and I wouldn’t care. I highly doubt she will :). I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, but that’s just me. I don’t understand the harm in having a comfort item. As adults, we have comfort items, they just take a different form.
PS. My married, 32 year old sister still sleeps with her quilt from jr high every night. She says its her most comfortable blanket to sleep with. Maybe its because she was traumatized when a babysitter burned her blanket when she was 7 years old. 🙂
I was planning on making cheeseburgers tonight, but saw these and changed my plans! They’re in the oven right now and smell amazing! 🙂
.-= Karly´s last blog ..Cream Cheese Pound Cake with Strawberry Coulis =-.
Think about it … have you ever see a child go to college sucking their thumb … My suggestion would be we all need comfort at any age and our comfort “thingies” evolve over time; Jacob will decide in his own time.
I am a 26 yo successful, married grad student and I still have a stuffed animal in my bed. Sometimes my husband even sleeps with him 🙂 jacob will outgrow these items in time, or at least learn to hide them from his friends.
Okay, back to let you know that these were delicious! Thanks for the recipe…even my meatloaf-hater enjoyed these! Strangely, my meatloaf-lover didn’t like them at all. That’s kids for ya!
.-= Karly´s last blog ..Cream Cheese Pound Cake with Strawberry Coulis =-.
I’m pretty sure you’re never too old for comfort food. Comfort objects…maybe…but these muffins? Too awesome.
My brother slept with a Snoopy blanket for a long time. He might have been 12. But realistically, he didn’t take it on sleepovers with it and when it got time for him to be embarassed of it, he gave it up on his own. Which I bet your son will as well. So I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
.-= Joanne´s last blog ..Bites of Bittman – Oven-Roasted Plum Tomato Tart Pizza with Pesto =-.
I can’t really speak to the parenting issues, Kristen, but I adore this recipe. What a novel approach to a classic dish.
I slept with my stuffed animal dog from age 1 until I got married. I still have it, though I do not cuddle it anymore. I just sits on a shelf in the closet looking cute. Okay…Let the mocking commence.
.-= Katie @ goodLife {eats}´s last blog ..Pizza Caprese with Garlic Focaccia Crust =-.
When should you ween your kids off their bedtime comforts??? NEVER! Why would you deprive them of somewthing that comforts them and gets them to sleep? they’ll outgrow them someday, but it’s just them, in their bed so why would it ever be an issue? If he was walking around sucking his thumb with a blankie at 8 then I’d advise the reduction of blankies to bedtimes only, but never remove the thing completely. What purpose? My almost 11 year old still likes to have her menagerie of stuffed animals to sleep with. Are you sure this isn’t a worry over his masculinity? The day someone picks on him he’ll evaluate the issue and it’s part of the growing up process – he’ll deal with it and be fine. I promise you, by the time he’s ready to bring a girl home, there won’t be a blankie and stuffed animal in the bed. Let him sort it out when he’s ready and count yourself lucky he’s not a thumbsucker (I was until 13) or bedwetter (Brother was until 20)
Now, I have meaty muffins to bake!! 😉
.-= Lyvvie´s last blog ..Bento for 12.04.10 =-.
I wish I had some advice for you, but since my little one is only a year old, we haven’t hit that problem yet!
Love the mini meatloaf. It’s the best way to go, in my opinion!
.-= Deborah´s last blog ..Turkey and Bean Chili =-.
My daughter had a favorite blanket that she kept and slept with until she left for college. At that time, she put it in a plastic bag and buried it. She loved that blanket and like your children, she never used a pacifier or sucked her thumb. The blanket though was just for our house and her bed, she never took it to sleepovers.
You may want to try to cut down the size of the blanket, so it is not so obvious when he takes it with him.
Well, since I’m just beginning, I really don’t have any advice from experience. Though I do remember us telling my youngest sister (14 years my junior) that the dog ate her binkie. She was four at the time, wasn’t mad at the dog-more like amazed.
I’m sure I will have the same question in seven years regarding my son’s stuffed dog, Leroy. It is his comfort item.
Meatloaf looks good and cute! I use a Cooking Light turkey meatloaf recipe-its pretty good.
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Buttermilk Poundcake =-.
I can give you two answers. As a person who works in the field of sleep. We always tell patients to bring something from how so they feel more comfortable when they go to sleep. So that being said comfort items such as blankets are a great took for ensuring a good sleep especially when away from home.
Both my kids had comfort items and both of them game then up when they were ready which was somewhere around the double digit birthdays. I did not have to wean them they just decided they were done with it. There was not trauma ( I could not handle it as a working single mom) or really anything special they just put it away. My daughter has her bear put away for when she has a child of her own and I have my son’s blanket because it was hand knit from a close family friend who has since past.
I hope that helps.
Amy
Interesting comments. We’re soooo not there yet, with a 1 year old, and he hasn’t even developed any comfort items… other than the pacifier (ugh, we have to start working on taking that one away, but only because of the physical dental harm).
I do have two thoughts though… I am of the opinion that they outgrow it in their own time. Secondly, if you wanted to help him simply understand that he’s getting older, you could limit it to your house only by the age of 10. Also, in a recent potty training speech I went to, the woman was a big advocate of talking about things way ahead of time, mentally preparing the child for change. So, in this case, you would say things like, ‘Ok, we can take your blanket and animal with us to grandmas, but someday you’ll be bigger and probably want to leave them at home and that would be OK too’.
.-= Laura´s last blog ..Lemon Cake =-.
i am going to make these this week! yum! as far as the “loveys” our kids attach themselves to, don’t worry about an age limit, if he was sucking his thumb, then i would start putting the seeds of stopping asap, due to dental changes it can cause, but the other, he will have them for as long as he needs them. all 3 of my daughters have given up their “loveys”. enjoy your kids! and thanks for the recipe.
I don’t have children, so I can’t help with the comfort item question, but I can tell you that these meatloaf muffins would rank high on my comfort food list. What a great idea! Thanks for the idea and the recipe.
.-= Kate at Serendipity´s last blog ..Home again… =-.
Yummy meatloaf recipe. My son is 2 1/2 and his only “lovey” is me. I don’t quite understand this because I have not, and hopefully, won’t get to this lovey object stage. Although the demanding little mama’s boy can be stressful sometimes, I know I will appreciate these times later. I do remember my lovey, a ratty hand me down dog being taken from me at an early age. I’m still mad about it. And my mother had a similar story, a rag doll being taken from her and thrown in the fireplace. She still is mad at her father for that, even though there both long gone.
.-= Angie´s last blog ..Celebrate Silver Dollar City’s 50th Birthday! =-.
One of my best friends, mother of 7, told me to get a stack of cloth diapers. That is what my boys used for their blankies. We had plenty of them, never ran out, didn’t matter if we lost it. Best advice EVER for a new mom. Kris, 5 still asks for a blankie most nights. Kye, 8-almost 9, asks occasionally but I always make sure I pack one if we go anywhere. Let him keep them till he doesn’t want them anymore!
.-= Whitney Schmale´s last blog ..Visitors part 2 =-.
When my daughter was 18 we moved here to the condo and out came “Boobie”her childhood bear to sit on her bed:DJust a reminder of her childhood. If your 8 year old sleeps with Talktus at night and is quite independent of it during the day I think he will just grow out of his attachment when he is ready. The first time a friend mentions Talktus he will unattach himself to it in their presense and eventually altogether. In the meantime lets be comforted by meatloaf which I am attached to from my childhood with very fond memories.
You’re never too old for confort!!! May it be those cute meatloaf muffis or toys. I guess there’s not a proper age to take those away from kids, I think it comes naturally. One day they simply feel growup and won’t want them…
I really believe that you should not take the items of comfort away from a child. They will let it go at their own pace and there is no need to rush them to grow up. Even with they out grown the item it is one of those special things you should save and put away somewhere.
Hi! I have an 11 year old son and for the longest time he slept with his bed full of stuffed animals, including a few favorites. He would always take them everywhere with him, but the past year, he hasn’t shown any interest in them anymore. He just gradually outgrew them as he got older.
Christie
I don’t think you’re ever too old; I’m a 16-year-old girl, and I still sleep with a stuffed animal at night.
But, when the situation presents itself, and I can’t sleep with a stuffed animal, I do just fine.
I think you grow out of the need, but not necessarily the want :]
(And the muffins are cute!)
This looks like a great bite size savory snack.. I can’t wait to give this a whirl. Thanks!
.-= Daniel@ The Food Addicts´s last blog ..Spinach and Artichoke Dip, featuring King Crab =-.
I think every child and situation is different. You know your child best. In my case I prepared him for the idea of it by making it seem like a rite of passage. In my son’s case he is always wanting to be older than he is I would remind him that big boys don’t sleep with a stuffed monkey. You can read it here in a post I wrote called Monkey’s Swan song. http://breakfastlunchdinnerandpunch.blogspot.com/2009/06/monkeys-swan-song.html Now my son no longer sleeps with monkey but that toy is still around and he hasn’t forgotten him – every once in a while he still takes a cuddle which I think is cute.
I’m with Rachel. Although I am 27 years old, have an MA, and live with my boyfriend, I sleep with a blanky and a stuffed animal (Platty, a platypus whom I have had since 13). My boyfriend also sleeps with the animal when I’m not home! I don’t see anything wrong with it- it’s nice to be reminded of your childhood as an adulthood, even with something so simple.
Why don’t you let his future wife deal with that one?
I’d take him comforting himself with a blanky and stuffed animal any day over other options. I still sleep with a fan on for the comfort of the fan – always have, always will if I have anything to do with it.
.-= Amy from She Wears Many Hats´s last blog ..Itty Bitty Nest Giveaway =-.
At what age are you too old for comfort?
Uh, never?
.-= Mary Sue´s last blog ..A Conversation, Online =-.
What a cute dish! I bet it;’s very good with all kinds of vegetables. I would recommend broccoli or fried squash. Beef and broccoli are like a perfect match.
meatloaf is one of the best comfort foods around! love the mini version 🙂
.-= dani´s last blog ..How to Bake: The Prepared Pantry =-.
I figure they’ll give it up eventually. Brandon used to carry a plastic baseball bat around with him everywhere. Eventually that stopped but for a while I was sure I’d be taking pictures at high school graduation with him carrying that bat. (I might, just for laughs)
.-= Trysha´s last blog ..Things I Like Today =-.
One of my three daughters had a baby doll we called Kiki (I don’t know why). She also had a blanket. We went through two sets of doll and blanket and thought there would never come a day she’d let go of them – and she did take them everywhere. When she was five, she left them at the park one day. When we returned to look for them, they were gone. We dragged our feet a bit replacing them, and then didn’t have the need. She stopped talking about them – suddenly didn’t need them. The same thing happened with my youngest daughter’s pacifier when she was four. A little like potty training, I think there is some mystery to how this “detachment” arrives. That’s little help, but consider “misplacing” Blanket and Talktus (one at a time). There will be tears – lots of them – but then there won’t be.
As I said, there is mystery involved in this child-rearing thing.
Re: comfort food – I do “Thursday recipes” on my site so wanted to check out other recipe blogs. Came across this one. Great food ideas. Really nice photos. What camera do you use? What setting?
I’ll be back.
.-= Daily Cup of Jo´s last blog ..Thursdays in the kitchen with Jo: fear and a twice-baked couch potato =-.
Funny, I found your post on TasteSpotting and it’s about comfort food and comfort animals and blankets too! Although I’m not a parent myself, I think my perspective may help. I am 20, looking forward to graduating from college and continuing on to get a masters, and happily still sleep with my blankie. Your first thought may be that I have no friends, but I’d like to attest otherwise, I certainly do! For me, the texture and snuggle with blankie really helps me fall asleep faster, it has become a trained reaction, when my face hits said blanket, I’m happily asleep quick. I wouldn’t give it up for the sake of saving face ever, and although I know as a woman I have more leeway in my blanket choices, I would encourage you to let your son indulge as long as he choses to do so. It may be the icing on his sleep routine. In parting, know that convincing my boyfriend that blankie is not a threat has been a work in progress for the last three years. 🙂
Love the idea of muffin meatloaf!
My daughter and son each had a special blanket that they slept with – through high school! They knew kids would laugh, so they didn’t take the blanket with them anywhere, but just liked having it there at night. My daughter realized her blanket was falling apart, so she carefully wrapped it up and put it in her hope chest.
Don’t sweat it. He’ll be done with them when he’s ready. I can pretty much guarantee they won’t be going on his honeymoon with him!
Hello,
I am a 33 yo mother of 2 little boys and I STILL sleep with my baby blanket and I think it is perfectly fine. My oldest son (5) has a blanket and my little one (19 mo) isn’t attached to anything. I really feel that having a comfort item to sleep with is just that… and nothing to cause concern.
Take Care and I love your blog!
My daughter who is 10 1/2 has always had a blanket she calls mimi.. pretty ragged and beat up.. but it is still in bed with her at night…
she has over the last year taken it to kids houses and sleepovers always in a bag or something..I think just taking it and knowing it was with her was comforting… although I don’t think she always took it out when she was at someones house… I think it was her comfort item… nothing to worry about they will figure it out!
Your the best! Love your blog..
Such interesting answers. Thanks for this question, Kirsten. As a young mama, I have definitely wondered if my 4yo’s Doggie is going to be around for a while. (because it looks like he is!)
Neither of my boys had pacifiers, and only attached themselves to items after being weened. It makes, sense, right?
Yay for comfort!!
I don’t know if this makes me an odd duck, but I slept with my blanket (my mother made it for me when I was born) until I was 19 or 20 years old, even taking it to college with me. I still have it tucked away with my other nostaglic items and photo albums.
My parents weaned me to the point of leaving it home for sleepovers and such though. I think it will just happen naturally when he’s ready to set them down. It just happens at different stages for different kids.
Let him have his comfort as long as he likes! My son hikes the Appalachian Trail, mountain bikes, snowboards, and rides a fixed-gear bike…all boy. He had his blanket and stuffed monkey for a long, long time! And most of his friends had their own versions of comfort that they slept with. You’re never too old for comfort! (we have them put away for his children!)
I strongly agree with most of the parents on this site; let Jacob keep Talktus and the blankie for as long as he needs; I’m seventeen, and I still sleep with my blanket, and the stuffed rabbit I’ve had since I was five… and I suck my thumb too. Please don’t worry about it; your son will outgrow it in good time, and if he doesn’t… well, what’s the harm? Who’s he hurting? If ever I have kids, I can only hope that they’ll have attachment objects like that.
hi, I have two girls, 25 and 27. They latched on to home made quilts when they were younger. I never worried about it. They didnt have to take them everwhere they went. but wanted them at bed time. They are both well developed, and use the blankets on their laps when watching tv. lol.
I am now a quilter and my oldest asked me to make her daughter a blanket. It came out wonderful. I only hope it becomes her favorite. Where the blanket Jacob is sleeping with is the first quilt you made. It might be extra special to him. I already told you how I handled it. Oh when ever the girls were asked about their blankets, they replied that the blanket had been made specially for them. Good luck. Keri
I didn’t even stop to read what others posted on this. My daughter had a blanket she was attached to. It was with her well into her 20’s. I find absolutely nothing wrong with some comforting when crawling into bed at night. We all do it. We all have a comforter that we crawl under, that special pillow that cradles our head just perfectly. Our favorite PJ’s. Those sheets that we love more than others. My daughter eventually looked at the blanket and said well, it’s pretty beat up and frayed and I’m afraid if I wash it one more time, there will be nothing left. So she cut it into squares and sealed it in a ziploc baggie. I say whatever makes you happy, that’s the key to life. It’s short and there are many awful things that happen to people. Enjoy it!!
We are never too old to need comfort. There is ab-so-lute-ly nothing wrong with your son needing some. He will ween himself when HE is ready. There is no need to rush adulthood – its not as much fun as being a kid.
My sons both still have the afghans I made them when they were youngsters – very shabby & holey – but it gives them happy memories when they see it. I’ve offered to make new ones, but they say it wouldn’t be the same. They are 35 & 39.
Let your son hold fast to the feeling of love when hes away from home.
BTW: these mini-meatloaves are perfect. They’d make good appetisers. And are perfect for packing in a lunch bag. Thank you.
My 15 year old Grandson still has his “Ducky” in his bed. There is no plush left on it but he needs it at bedtime. Ducky has been to Disney World, on Cruise Ships and from coast to coast in Canada. I have performed many surgeries on Ducky and keep telling Connor that each one is the last