Photo courtesy of my friend, Heather Morrow, from Hocus Focus Photo.
You’ll have to excuse me for this one post, as there is nothing food related involved.
You may remember a post I wrote last September about my friend Ann and her heart touching vow renewal ceremony with her husband, Hal, of 10 years. Ann, if you will recall, had been facing a brave battle with cancer for the past 9 years. This past Saturday, July 17th, Ann was taken from our world and is now in heaven, I am sure relieved to be rid of the illness that has been inflicting her body for the past 9 years.
This past Wednesday evening was her visitation. Instead of getting a babysitter, my husband and I decided to split up. He’d go first, come back home to watch the kids, and then I would go. As I was standing in the long line, a true testament to how much Ann was loved, I started to get frustrated with myself. “I should have just gotten a babysitter. I want my husband with me. This is not the kind of thing anyone should have to do alone.” Even though I was surrounded by friends, I wanted Nick, my rock, with me more than anything.
As I got closer to the front of the line where Hal was standing, I looked up and noticed him, standing all by himself, accepting the condolences of friends and loved ones. “This is not the kind of thing anyone should have to do alone.” His plus one, his shoulder to lean on, his best friend, his parenting ally… his person who should be doing this type of thing with him is gone. It just isn’t right.
Watching Hal and Ann over the past nine years, as they have faced cancer head on, has been one of the most incredible things I have ever witnessed. As I reflect back on what Ann and Hal have taught me through their example of faith and love, there are a few key things that I will take away from having the honor of knowing Ann.
- Always have faith. Always. Ann’s faith in God through her battle with cancer has been unrelenting. With every dose of suffering, she accepted it and gave it all up to God. If you want to be touched forever by her incredible faith, all you have to do is go to the final blog post she was able to write on July 4th, 2010.
- Value your friendships. Ann was always one of those people who truly made time for her friends. Even though she was feeling crappy. Even though she may not have been up for it. Ann knew the value of friendship and made her friends a priority in her life. It was witnessed yesterday in the rows and rows and rows of pews filled with people mourning her death at the funeral. From her closest of friends in the front row, to those of us who were lucky enough to call her a friend scattered throughout the church, there is not a single person who knew Ann who won’t say that watching what unfolded over the past 9 years was not a true testament to the value of friendship.
- Be real. Ann was about as real and authentic as it gets. She didn’t try to be someone else. She didn’t mince her feelings. She was real, honest and raw.
- Be courageous. In the face of death, she showed an incredible amount of courage. In the face of cancer, she showed an incredible amount of courage. Many times, we’d all wonder, “how can she be so strong?”, but she was. She was one of the most courageous women I have ever met and I will forever be reminded of her strength, especially when I am feeling whiny and pathetic.
- Have fun. Ann turned shaving her head into a big party and then transformed herself into “Foxy Roxy” with her pink wig. Her laugh was infectious. There is no doubt that Ann knew how to have fun. Sometimes, attitude is everything, and Ann proved that to be true each and every day.
I hope that, even though many of you didn’t know Ann, you will take a look through her blog and be touched by her faith, courage and love. She will be deeply missed but always remembered.
Kristen you have the most amazing talent in writing…your words define Ann’s journey and faith perfectly. Thank you for sharing!! Much Love, Jen
That’s so very sad. I work in pediatric oncology and every day I am thankful that my family is healthy. It puts every small problem into real perspective.
What a beautiful tribute to your sweet friend. She sounds like just the type of person I would hope to be. I am so glad you had in your life and I am so, so sorry for your loss. I love you! xo
i’m sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. and i totally have tears in my eyes reading your post! thank you for sharing… off to check out her blog!
What a lovely post. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. It is heartbreaking to think that her husband and children have to go through the rest of their lives without her by their side, but I’m sure her spirit will live on in each of them.
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. This gave me chills and brought tears to me eyes. She taught you some incredible things and I’m glad you passed them along to us.
Kristen, what a lovely, heartfelt tribute to your friend. I am so sorry you have lost your friend, but what a blessing it must have been to know her and to witness her faith and grace.
Wow Kristen that was a very powerful and sweet tribute to your friend Ann! Heather’s photo (as always) seems to capture Ann’s love of her family despite her struggles with cancer. Thank you for sharing this lady’s life and contributions with us.
Kristen – there’s nothing I can say, no words I can offer that will lessen the loss you feel right now. But know this – Ann’s spirit continues to live through those of you whose lives she touched – and that, my friend, is the absolute greatest legacy any one of us can hope to leave on this earth. Remember her. Write about her. Share her with the rest of us. It is well with my soul.
My heart just sank when I read your post. What a lovely tribute you made to her. She’ll be watching over you all I’m sure. I’ll be hopping over to her blog now with a few tears in my eyes!
I have been battling cancer since January when I was diagnosed, but it seems the tumour had been growing for at least 4 years. I just finished treatment last Friday, but still not sure if that’s an end to it!
If/when my time comes to depart I hope I have a friend like you LOL.
Kristen– My condolences. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. Ann sounds like she was an absolutely wonderful person to know, and I am so thankful that you shared your lessons from her in this beautifully written tribute. Very inspiring!
You have written such an amazing tribute to what sounds like a very amazing woman. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Kristen, I read your blog and read your friends Ann last entry. She truly was an amazing woman. I know her family will take comfort knowing she is now home and they will forever have a guardian angel. I will pray for her family and loved ones in this time. I know you were blessed to know her and she was blessed to have a friend like you.
I know we don’t see each other the way we would like too, but I am greatful everyday to have You, Nick, Stacy and Bryon in our lives. It was a chance meeting that turned into a life long friendship.
Jan
I’m so sorry for your loss, Kristen.
This is such a touching post. I’m so sorry for your loss. Ann sounds like an amazing person.
What a beautiful tribute to your friend, Kristen. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Kristen, you have reminded us of the true value of friendship and how dear it is.
This post brought me to tears as I am sure you shed some while writing it. Thank you for reminding us to remember the important things in life!
I am sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Your words brought me to tears. What a great tribute to your dear friend.
I didn’t know Ann, but her legacy and your thoughts are inspirational. I feel blessed to have you as a freind for as much as you care for your friends and family is engaging.
My thoughts are with her family.
Kristin, my condolences to you. You wrote with such grace and love for your friend Ann. I read some of her entries and from the few entries I could see she was a woman of grace. I will keep her family in my thoughts as well as you.
Thank you for sharing her with us and the gentle reminder that life is short.
I didn’t know Ann but I was moved by your words. I will visit her blog in tribute.
What a touching post you wrote in tribute to your dear friend. So many of the things that you learned from her are things we all should try to remember during our day-to-day lives.
I’m so sorry for your loss, and my thoughts are with her family – and yours, too.
Kristen, What a lovely tribute to your friend. We learn so much from the beautiful people in our lives. I hope you are comforted by the wonderful memories you shared with Ann.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Ann sounds like an amazing woman.
I don’t remember what I was thinking about before I read your post because all I can think about now is Ann, her family and you. What a terrific friend. I’m so sorry for your loss and am sending thoughts and prayers to you.
Friends who are great examples of how to live are hard to come by. I wish I’d known her.
Kristen, thank you for sharing your friend Ann with us. The words you write in this post are beautiful and essential. We all need Faith, Courage, Strength and a great sense of humor. We are all here to help support each other and somewhere out there is a Support for all of us that shines down. We are here for you friend 🙂 xo
Hi Kristen, thank you for sharing Ann with us. It really is amazing to witness the strength and courage our friends carry with them through their battle with cancer. I’m sorry for her loss but I feel sure she touched so many lives. What a beautiful picture you posted. We all need to say a prayer for this family. I pray God will surround them with the comfort of friends and peace that only God can give. As always I enjoy reading all your posts. God bless you! xo
I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your sweet friend. Very touching tribute to her. Hugs.
Kristen, what a beautiful post! You do have an incredible talent for writing . Remember that Hal has courage, too. He and his family will need the support of friends like you and Nick in the future . Ann’s spirit will be with you all, and Your Father in Heaven will shine down on you all and keep you safely in His Grace. Love.
What a touching tribute to your beloved friend and a poignant reminder to all of us to live our lives to the fullest and focus on what is important. My prayers are with you and her family.
This world needs more people like Ann…bless her…her suffering is over and she is now pain free. May God bless her family and friends. Wish I had known her but your tribute makes me feel that I did in a way.
What a beautiful and touching tribute to your friend. I am so sorry for your loss.
Kristen,
I only learned about and began reading your blog last year as part of the fundraising you did for Ann, and I’ve always enjoyed your posts. This one truly embodied what Ann was all about and I know she’s smiling down on such a beautiful tribute you’ve given her with your lovely words. She was such a gift to us all and I’m so grateful for all of the lessons she taught us with her faith-filled life and grace-filled death. May she rest in peace and may peace be with you!
Amy
What a lovely tribute to your friend (and her husband too.) I’m sad to hear about it; it sounds like she was a wonderful person.
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. It sounds like she was a wonderful person. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
This is such a lovely tribute to your friend. My husband has been through cancer twice, so I totally understand the battle with that horrible disease. It definitely does change your perspective on everything in life. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
What beautiful words that you have written about your friend Ann. It was a wonderful tribute to her. You have such a gift and I am so sorry about the loss of your good friend.
I remember your post last year about their wedding vow renewal ceremony. I was in tears. Reading this today brings tears to my eyes as well. What a strong woman she was even in the face of death. May we all learn something from her journey. Blessings to you in your loss!
I am so sorry for your loss. How lucky you were though, to have had a friend like her in your life. This was a beautiful tribute to her.
Powerful. Your writing is beyond formidable and you are an amazing woman and friend Kristin. What a lovely tribute to Ann. Our thoughts are with her family.
Thank you for this. xoxo
I’m so sorry for your loss – this is a moving tribute to an obviously greatly loved woman.
I have tears in my eyes for a woman I didn’t know. Excellent post, she will obviously be greatly missed.
This hits very close to home, as I just lost my dear cousin to cancer, after her courageous 10-year battle. I read Ann’s last blog post and that, too, had similarities. Pauline spoke of the angels more and more in her final weeks, and would get very excited, in a peaceful sort of way. God was definitely preparing her (and all of us!) for her journey to Him. Her faith was inspiration for us all.
What a lovely tribute. Thank you for sharing.
This is a beautiful post, Kristen. I read some of Ann’s blog, and it was full of heartbreaking strength and faith. I wish I could envelop her family in a bubble of love & peace, but I’m pretty sure she’s done that already 🙂 Earlier this year, one of my friends lost her 14-year-old daughter to cancer. While Ally was only with us a short time, her life, love, strength and courage was a beacon to many—she truly taught us how to live. It is awe-inspiring, how tragic circumstances can bring out the best in people, and I’m glad to see some of Ann’s life lessons highlighted here. Hugs, my friend! Your tribute to her is a lovely gift.
This was my absolute favorite of all of Ann’s pictures ever. It was the one that brought tears to my eyes. This picture is all encompassing with laughter, joy, love, life and hope. Thank you for posting this Kristen. Thank you for your beautiful words for our dear friend. She is a treasure to be shared always. She leaves such a legacy of faith and friendship.
Thank you for such a beautiful tribute to our friend. Every word truly reflects her. God Bless you.
A beautiful post, Kristin in loving memory of your friend.
Sorry for your loss. Beautiful and heart touching post. Thank you for sharing.
Beautifully said. I loved reading it, my prayers will be with her family, what a difficult road…..
What an absolutely beautiful, poignant, tribute to your friend. You made her shine through your words 🙂 Thank you, humbly, for sharing.
Love,
Red
after reading about ann’s passing, i took a long walk in the wood’s and thought about her bravery. i wondered why. i prayed for you as you mourn. losing a friend can be so surreal. i lost a wonderful friend early this spring , i can’t call her but strangely feel that she is still listening. xo kathi
What a beautiful tribute to your friend. I know losing such a good friend like Ann was very hard. My thoughts are with you, but I know your words and writing of this blog are being heard by her. Truly touching!
Kristen – this is a beautiful tribute to your friend and to friendship in general. I’m truly sorry for your loss. 🙁 We’re coming up on the one year anniversary of the death of a very good friend of ours – she also died from cancer and my heart aches for you and anyone else who’s lost a loved one to this horrible disease.
Very well put. That is a wonderful recipe for life! I too learned so much from Ann and feel blessed to have known her. I look forward to seeing her again through her girls.
I’m at a loss for words…. My thoughts and prayers are with all her loved ones.
I am not a daily visitor, more like once a month to your website. I was scanning the web tonight to try and take my mind off a deep family crisis of another kind, not cancer of the body, but a cancer of the soul in our youngest adopted daughter who is choosing paths not to be taken. As it breaks my heart to watch her make such poor decisions, I read this post with an awareness that I cannot let my grief for my loss keep me from living each day as a gift. I am not sure what that will look like as I consider how to wisely respond to her, but for now, this has been a help. Ann’s life, like another friend of mine that died young with cancer, has helped me to remember there are those who love deeply and fully here on earth.