My brother, Larry, lost his valiant 2-month battle with cancer early this morning. I was fortunate enough to be there when he passed. Hearing his wife visually walk him “home” to heaven where other friends and relatives eagerly awaited his arrival and seeing how that led him to his peaceful final breath was something I will never forget. I feel very privileged to have witnessed the moments I have in the past 24 hours.
My brother was a good man. Most importantly, he was the most amazing father and helped to raise 3 incredible kids. My heart aches in ways I didn’t know possible seeing his kids try to grasp the reality of this loss. There will be a void there that can never be replaced. As a mom, we want to shelter our kids from hurt. Knowing that there is nothing any of us can do to take this hurt away is almost unbearable.
Larry was out of the house by the time I was born, so needless to say we had a different relationship. It wasn’t a typical brother / sister relationship I guess, but honestly… I don’t know what is typical anymore. Yes, I reached out more in the past two months to Larry than I ever have before. I imagine he would have done the same thing had the tables been turned. When you are faced with a loved one dying, I can only think that is the natural thing to do.
You might expect my message to everyone out there is to hold on tight, give more and don’t let time get between you and a loved one… and although I think that is extremely important, I have an even bigger message I want to share.
Plain and simple, give grace. Give grace and accept each other for what you are. I know in the end my brother and I were accepting and at peace with our relationship. No, it wasn’t a perfect relationship. We have faults, we’ve both made plenty of mistakes over the years however as my friend Wendy so eloquently put in a recent blog post:
“And I pondered how life isn’t perfect. How I’m not perfect. How those I love aren’t perfect. But how loving them…fully loving them warts and all…is somehow perfect, especially when faced with the possibility of not having them.”
As you are contemplating your own relationships… your own life with your friends and family, please take a moment to forgive and give a stretch of grace to those who haven’t lived up to your expectations. In our heart of hearts I know that we are all simply doing the very best we can.
I have a greater appreciation for my brothers and sisters, my parents and the rest of my family because of going through this. We’ve opened up and had conversations with each other that very well might not have happened otherwise. We’ve loved, laughed, cried and most importantly, we have forgiven. I hope you will reach out to the ones you love and do the same.
I am touched and humbled by the outpouring of love from all of you. It has lifted me up in a time full of sorrow. I can’t begin to express my gratitude in a way that will convey how much it has meant to me. Thank you…I feel so blessed.
Jessica @ How Sweet says
Praying for you and your family dear Kristen. Such a beautiful tribute.
kamran siddiqi says
We love you, Kristen. This is a beautiful tribute. I’m keeping yours and Jennie’s family in my prayers. Take care, friend.
Rachel - A Southern Fairytale says
oh friend.
beautiful words. I’m sorry for your family’s loss.
prayers, peace and love.
Thank you for the message and reminder <3
Tamara says
Sorry for your loss. You are so right. No one is perfect and we need to love each other as we are because God does. He is so full of grace and forgiveness and we need to be the same way. Praying God’s peace for you and your family.
Becca H. says
Kristen, I am keeping you and your family in my prayers for as long as you need them. I’m so glad to know that Heaven has more great company. R.I.P. Larry… and say hi to my Daddy for me!
Prerna@IndianSimmer says
That is such a touching tribute Karen! Sending good vibes and positive thoughts your way. No words can help share your grief but will be keeping you and your family in prayers! God Bless!
ciaochowlinda says
You have written some powerful words – words that I will take to heart. I am so so sorry for your loss – I have been there all too often in the last year with the death of my husband, brother, brother-in-law, good friend, and just this week, an aunt. I try to find the brightness amid all the darkness and I hope you will too. Your wise reflections make me think you have already begun to do so, are just another blessing to me amid all the sorrows.
Bev Weidner says
Kristen, I’m praying for you daily, and wishing you peace in this time of healing. Please, if you need anything, I’m right down the road. I’d be MORE than happy to come.
Jennifer Mullinax says
Oh Kristen..you my dear have a BEAUTIFUL way with words. From the moment I met you one of the things I’ve admired in you is your perspective on the world your ability to brighten a room with just a few words. Your perspective on the loss of Larry is beautiful…your tribute and your advice was perfect. I know I for one will be giving more Grace to those in my life!! Hugs to you my friend!!
Jen
Pamela says
Kristen, you speak such beautiful truth.
Grace…yes.
Móna Wise says
Kristen,
I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard to offer comfort ‘virtually’.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful piece at a time when sharing is not
always the easiest thing to do.
Stay strong. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Móna
Jessica says
This is so beautiful, Kristin, and truly makes me think about a lot of grace and some forgiveness that I need to be ready to give.
I’m so terribly sorry for your loss, and for your entire family. You are grace personified, my friend. Thank you for being a bright light for us all to follow.
Jenni says
Beautiful words, and so true. So often, there is so much guilt wrapped up in watching a family member die. Thank you for showing us the possibility that guilt is unnecessary; would that we all have the grace to know that as truth.
Sending you much love and light, Kristen.
Gabi says
Dear Kristen,
My heart is full of your words and the thought of your own grace is so very uplifting. I send you my wishes for love and light, peace and comfort and the gratitude of one whose heart is touched by what you share here.
(hugs)
Gabi
Melanie says
Sending your family much love during your time of need.
Helene says
I am here for you whenever you need me. I think your sister in law is a very special and strong person to have done what she did. My mom did it for my grandma and brother and I am in awe of that strength. You are *that* strong Kristen. More importantly you have us to give you more love than you think there is in this world.
Love you babe.
Aggie says
Your words are beautiful Kristen. Your brother will always be watching down on you. I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. xo
Tara @ The Butter Dish says
Kristen, It’s never easy saying good-bye even though it is the one inevitability of life.
I was able to say good-bye to my mother when ALS took her in 2008. I got her very last hug and in her suffering, comforted me while I cried on her breast one last time.
Larry is finally free of pain and sickness, the pain is for those who remain for a time.
I send you blessing and strength, light, hope and comfort. Most of all I send you peace. May it shine a light on you in all things.
Tara
Melissa says
I’m so sorry for your loss Kristen, but your message is beautiful.
Kay says
Praying for you and your family.
Jenny says
I, too, am praying for you and your family. Very beautiful message and it is heard loud and clear.
pamm says
i am so sorry for your loss. Your words and message about forgiveness are priceless. Know that you are a great person and that your message will encourage others to do the same as you. You gave and now you will get.
pamm
leslie says
I am so very sorry for your los. You and your family will be in my prayers.
Janet says
Oh Kristen… you are a woman of true grace. When my stepdad lost his fight, we were there to walk him there as well. It a
Sara says
Sending you and your family lots of love and prayers, Kristen. God is welcoming your brother home with open arms <3
Janet says
(Hit “send” to soon prior) Was such an honor… thank you for sharing your family with us.
TidyMom says
So beautiful Kristen, and I know how much coming to those terms can be a struggle some times, but can make such a difference in our lives.
Saying good-bye is sooo hard, but isn’t it amazing the lesson it brought?
You’re in my heart and prayers…….love you~!!!
Karen says
Kristen, I am so sorry.
Miss @ Miss in the Kitchen says
Kristen, thank you for sharing this with us. Family can be wonderful but often times trying, I take your sentiments to heart. I am very sorry for your loss and will keep your family in my prayers.
delynn says
Kristen….
As always your words are so eloquent and spot on!! You have such a way with words! As like you after the death of my mother you are so willing to give grace, not sweat the small stuff and cherish each moment!!
Again, you are in my thoughts and prayers!! And special prayers for your mother who has lost a child!!
Hugs, D.
Judy says
God bless you and your family at this sad time.
camille says
I’m so sorry for your loss, Kristen.
Radhika @ foodfor7stages says
Sorry to hear about your loss Kristen. In the last 1 week I have been reminded again that life is short and we should appreciate and love people around us.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
rachel @ sweettarte says
So sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful post. Sending good thoughts to you and your family.
Wendi @ Bon Appetit Hon says
Kristen, thank you for sharing your experience, and your loss, with us. I know that I struggle to find the capacity to extend that idea of grace to people in my life. Sending love to you and your family.
Cookbook Queen says
Oh Kristen…being with someone that way…watching them take their very last breath…it is almost too much for me to truly grasp.
I am so very sorry you had to lose him, but so glad that you were able to be with him at the end.
Praying for you all.
Tickled Red says
Dear Kristen, I am so very sorry that you and your family are having to experience losing a loved one. Thank you so much though for reminding us all to search for grace and to embrace our family no matter what. All my love is with you.
Snippets of Thyme says
I often wonder where the “good” comes out of senseless death. Then, posts like yours come out. And, pages of peanut butter pie are dished up on Tastespotting. Then I have a glimpse of the way this world is working. Out of pain and hurt come healing and forgiveness. The world actually improves through the pain that is inflicted. It’s hard for me to fully understand this senseless loss. I’m sorry for your loss and I wish you well as you cope with it.
Elle Hyson says
Kristen, my deepest condolences to you and to your entire family. It is never easy to lose a loved one. May peace be with all of you.
Cassie says
What a beautiful tribute. So well-written and thought-provoking. I’m praying for peace and comfort and strength for your and your family. Much love and blessings to you during this time. ~Cassie
Crystal's Cozy Kitchen says
Kristen, such a beautiful post. My thoughts have been with you today especially. I hope that you are filled with peace from Him who gives it. I know His peace really helped me through the death and mourning of my younger brother. It also helped to know that he wasn’t suffering anymore, he fought his fight and is with those who love him that have passed on before. That knowledge helped a lot, even though it doesn’t ease the pain of parting. Embrace the memories, don’t dwell on the regrets.
Crystal
Manju says
So terribly sorry for your loss.
Natalie says
This was an amazingly beautiful post, Kristen. You always offer such hope and inspiration. In a time when others would see total darkness, you saw goodness, peace, and light, and that is a huge part of what makes you such a wonderful person. You are loved so much, my sweet friend.
annesta says
In a time of deep sorrow you are able to articulate beautifully how hurt your heart is at this moment and you are able to reach out and connect with so many others. I am reminded by your post to hug those I love and to tell them how important they are.
I am so sorry for your loss and will pray for you and your family.
blessings
~a
Emily says
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing the last moments you spent with him. What a wonderful way to pass from one world to another. Peace to you and your family.
Sue says
Thank you so much for your powerful message. I will take it to heart. God bless you and your family.
Tarrant says
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Brian @ A Thought For Food says
My thoughts go out to you… and the events of this past week, what you and Jennie have gone through, has forced me to reflect more on my life.
Katie says
Thank you so much for these beautiful words, Kristen. I’ve been thinking about you all day hoping that you will feel peace. You’re in our prayers. Love you! xoxo
Jen @ My Kitchen Addiction says
Oh, Kristen… I’m so sorry! Will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for this beautiful and honest post.
Courtney says
What a beautiful post – hope you and your family are doing well. You’re in my thoughts and prayers.
Averie @ Love Veggies and Yoga says
I am so sorry for your loss, Kristen. I’m totally sobbing just thinking about his 3 kids and wife. And your entire family. I am so very sorry.
naomi says
I offer my thoughts, prayers and hopes that you will all relish in his memories, the moments that you all did have together … and that it will carry you through.
My heart caught in my throat when I read the first sentence of this post. Thankful for you that you were there. I know it meant so much to his wife.
gretchen says
thank you for sharing the wisdom, truth and perspective that can only come in those raw, bittersweet moments of life and death. prayers of comfort, peace and hope for each of you now and in the coming months…
Nancy Wyatt says
Such a beautiful post, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Your words truly touched me, thanks for sharing them with us. Xoxo
Joyce Cunningham says
God bless you and your family!
Doris says
I’m so sorry for you and your family’s loss. Thank you for sharing these inspirational words.
alic says
I am so sorry for your loss Kristen. Your message on is a powerful lesson we can all glean from.
Love,
Alice
Laura says
That is an absolutely beautiful message. The world would be different if everyone could take that to heart. Just love everyone. I have learned myself to give the benefit of the doubt to others. We are all imperfect people doing the best we can.
Barbara @ Barbara Bakes says
I’m so sorry for your loss. Such a touching, well written post. You may have to come back to it and remember this feeling. I lost my mom last year and I still cry almost every day. I never knew it would hurt so much for so long.
Kalyn says
I am very sorry for your loss, but also happy that you got to have those two months with your brother and be there for his last moments. It sounds like it was a very special time. Wishing you peace and sending love. xoxo
Loy says
Kirsten, you are right. Give grace. That is what is given to us by the Almighty, and what we should give to everyone else. I have a little phrase that I say to myself when I want to fuss about things, lash out, or just generally be cranky. “Is this going to matter in 5 years?” If not, it doesn’t matter now. It helps to keep me from saying words that are then “out there” and can never be taken back. So much sorrow this week, I am praying for all.
Jen says
This is a time for mourning for a lot of people these days. Jennifer, a fellow blogger at In Jennie’s Kitchen, just lost her husband to a sudden heart attack this past Sunday. My heart breaks for the both of you. I am so sorry for your loss. This month I read a book called Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo. It’s about a little boy who spent a few minutes in heaven while he was having surgery for a ruptured appendix — maybe now is too early but someday it might uplift your spirits to read and know heaven is where Larry is.
Pat says
I am so very sorry for your loss…I can’t imagine losing my brother. You are so very right…give grace to all. We never know when a friend or loved one will be gone.
Jamie | My Baking Addiction says
I’m very sorry for your loss, Kristen. I often find myself needing to step back and be a little more accepting of others because none of us are perfect. Thank you for sharing this important message with all of us.
El says
Kristen- please accept my heartfelt my heartfelt sympathies for the loss of your brother. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.
Wenderly says
Sending you & your family much love, comforting peace and the warmest, tightest hugs imaginable. I’m so sorry for your hurting and so moved by your raw honesty and grace. xoxo
Mary at Deep South Dish says
My sympathies to you and your family Kristen at this time. What a beautiful tribute to your brother, and really, to life and how we ought to live it. God bless sweetie.
Angie- Bigbearswife says
Beautiful Post. I’m so sorry for your loss 🙁
Astrid says
Kris, I read out loud your post with Anthony, our sincerest condolences, your words ring truer then anything we could say. May God take care of his family, our thought and prayers are with them…
Astrid & Anthony
Kim - Liv Life says
Kristen… what a beautiful post you have written. Such important thoughts to hold close to our hearts. Thank you for sharing your loss in such a moving post, it’s one I won’t forget. My heart is with you and your family…
Debs @ DKC says
Beautifully written post, my thoughts are with you, Larry and the family at this horrible time. R.I.P Larry.
I’ve been in your position with my parents and was diagnosed with cancer myself last year. I get really upset when I hear of somebody passing so quickly as Larry did.
Jenny says
Beautiful post, exactly right. God bless.
Sylvie @ Gourmande in the Kitchen says
Your strength and wisdom in this moment of sorrow are an inspiration. I am thankful to have you in my life and cherish our friendship. Thinking of you. xo
Sasha @ The Procrastobaker says
oh goodness, i know it was naive of me but i never truly thought this day would come for you. This post was beautifully written and with such strength, i admire you so very much and I hope that you continue to reflect on the good times that you both shared. I know theres nothing I really CAN do to help, but please know all my thoughts are with you today and if by some obscure chance there is any way I can assist during this…just horrible time, then the offer is there. Best wishes x
Shelby says
I am sorry for your loss. This post is a wonderful tribute to your brother.
Carole says
I am very sorry for your loss. I was with my mom when she died and it was peaceful and that gave me a lot of comfort. Hold onto that in the days to come and you will be blessed with that memory.
Tiffany says
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your post is a beautiful reminder of what it means to live a life filled with God’s grace.
Judith B. says
Larry has “graduated” to a more peaceful and glorious place….he is Blessed. May time become best friends to the family in their grieving and healing process…especially for his children. Blessings to all…..
Amanda says
This is so beautiful Kristen… thank you for it! At a time when your heart must be so broken… when you are dealing with loss, you still have the grace yourself to share such a vital message. Much love to you friend!
bridget {bake at 350} says
Holding you close in my heart this week. What a beautiful post…and wise words, Kristen. I really needed them today as we are heading out to scatter my mom’s ashes this morning. Thank you.
Wishing you and your family peace, comfort and strength…and many happy memories of times with your brother. ♥
Paula says
I’m so sorry for your family’s loss Kristen. Your beautiful message has been a source of grace for me. God bless you and your family.
Nancy @ TheSensitivePantry says
Kristen – a beautiful message from the heart. During these times of extreme loss we realize what we have had and still have. It’s a special gift given us out of something so terribly unbearable. My heart to you and your family.
Robynski says
Oh Kristen, my heart is with you today as you mourn the loss of your brother. Your words are such an inspiration and hopefully people will take them to heart. It seems we are in short supply in the forgiveness arena, your words can remind us all of what is most important.
I wish you peace during this time.
FireMom says
Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. I am sorry for your loss.
Andrea Meyers says
Love and hugs to you and your family. I know the special things about your brother will live in your heart forever.
Lori @ RecipeGirl says
Kristin, I’m so very sorry for your loss. How fortunate you were to have been able to connect with him more in recent months and be there in the end. Sending hugs and prayers and strength. XO
cecedon says
I am very sorry for your loss Kristen. Hugs and prayers your way.
Kulsum at JourneyKitchen says
oh Kristen a tear rolls down as I write this. The post is perfect and reflects my inner feelings I have been struggling with lately about friends, family and forgiveness.I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs xo
AmyRuth says
Thank you for sharing such a personal experience with the “unknown.” Your thoughts and experiences learned have not fallen on deaf ears. Its a reminder to love unconditionally, as we are loved by our heavenly Father. I’m so sorry for your loss. We all face these experiences and I suppose it makes us more understanding of each others frailties. You will be in my thoughts/prayers.
AmyRuth
Souffle Bombay (Colleen) says
Kristen, what a powerful message – no relationship is perfect is it? Accepting everyone for who they are…no matter how different we each are from one another, to me IS the way to go. So very sorry for your loss, prayers to your extended family and thank you for the powerful, important reminder. (Hug)
Rosie @ Sweetapolita says
Sending you and your family lots of love & hugs, Kristen. I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. You’ve written such a beautiful tribute and reminded us of what is truly important in life. xo
Nick (Macheesmo) says
Sorry for your loss Kristen. I can’t imagine how hard that must be. The fact that you can write and share something so poignant about it already is amazing.
Thanks for sharing and I wish the best for you and your family.
Kim Bee says
Kristen, I am so sorry to hear this news. I was so touched by this post. I am glad you were able to be there and find peace. Also to give him peace in the end. It’s really the greatest gift you can give another person. I am blessed to know you. Take care. xx
Amy | She Wears Many Hats says
Thank you for sharing these thoughts even while you’re grieving. So true. I’ll continue to pray for you and your family during the tough times ahead. Hugs to you and yours! x0x0x0x0x
Megan's Cookin' says
Such a beautiful post. I’m so sorry for your lost, but what a powerful message.
Tammi says
I am so sorry for your loss! Your statements here are so moving and oh-so-true.
Nancy says
My condolences to you and your family. Thanks for reminding us to remember that we’re all doing the best we can and give grace to one another–a message I needed to hear today.
Rachel @ Not Rachael Ray says
Beautiful post, Kristen. Saying lots of prayers for you and your family. Thank you for sharing this beautiful message even in your time of grief.
Carrie says
Kristen, I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine. Thank you for your eloquently written post. Reminding us to not be so hard on each other. To set aside each other’s faults and look for the good. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. xo
Maris (In Good Taste) says
S0 sorry for your loss. I think it’s nice that you are able to remember your relationship with your brother for what it was and celebrate that. Thinking of you and your family!
Karly says
I’m so sorry for your loss, Kristen. Prayers for your family.
Melissa says
I am sorry to hear about your loss, dear friend! I hope that in the days, weeks, months and years to come you are strengthened by the love God has for you and the relationships he has helped strengthened in this time of sorrow. We are all here for you, so please reach out to any of us for love, support and conversation. Stay strong! xoxo
Ryan says
I’m so sorry for your loss and am keeping your family in my prayers. Thank you for sharing this post as a reminder of how precious life is and to hold our loved ones close. I know there are many out there who are thinking and praying for you all in this time.
Jennifer (Savor) says
So sorry for your lose and for your brother’s suffering Kristen
Jennifer (Savor) says
loss, I meant
Amy @ A Little Nosh says
I’m so sorry for your loss.
audra says
Sorry to hear about your brother passing, he will always be in your heart and memory. You are in my thoughrs and prayers. God bless you.
marla says
Hi there sweet friend. I am so sad to read about your brother. We are all here for you with sweet smiles, love, hugs and grace. If there is anything you ever need at all please don’t hesitate to ask.
xxoo
Rivki Locker (Ordinary Blogger) says
What a beautiful post. It’s so important to learn these kinds of lessons from losses, even when they are not your own. Thank you for sharing.
Deborah says
Kristen, this was so extremely beautiful. And you will probably never know how much I needed to hear this at this exact moment. Thank you for your wisdom and for your beautiful words.
Georgia Pellegrini says
I’m thinking of you and praying for you. Loss is so hard but it definitely changes us for the better.
Cindy B. says
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Lisa { AuthenticSuburbanGourmet } says
My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. I enjoyed your post and the message it sends. Life is short and we must embrace every minute and enjoy!!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Esi says
So sorry for your loss. Love and prayers to you and your family
With Style and Grace says
Oh love, I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending my love and prayers to you and your family. Let me know if there’s anything I can do. Love you, xo
patsyk says
Kristen – this is a beautiful post and one that speaks the truth, but many of us forget the importance of accepting our family for who they really are… and loving them in spite of those warts and all. Thank you for sharing what you are going through right now. (((hugs))))
Barbara | Creative Culinary says
So eloquently put and a message we might need to hear; we can harbor such great expectations and ultimately disappointments if we don’t do as you suggest and ‘just’ give grace. I am sorry to hear of your loss, to think of your brother’s children without their Dad, but your family sounds strong and I’m sure you’ll be there for each other. Giving Grace. XOXO
Sarah Caron says
I am so sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful message to share. Thank you.
Sarah says
I wish there was something I could do or say… nothing seems adequate. If there is ever anything I can do please don’t hesitate. Hugs and love!
Louisa [Living Lou] says
I’m so sorry for your loss, sending you and your family positive thoughts and you’re so right about giving grace, definitely something to think about and try and do. Wishing you all the best during this difficult time.
Glamamom says
Best wishes to you and your family.
Julie says
Sorry for your loss! Blessing to you and your family!
Dawn Gardner says
Kristen, I am very sorry to hear that your brother has passed away. Your post is both honest and heartfelt. Isn’t it amazing that some of the saddest moments in life can show us how to fully embrace our lives? Bless you and yours 🙂
Mardi@eatlivetravelwrite.com says
Kristen, you and your family are in my thoughts. Hugs and much love XOX
Jenn in Tenn says
So sorry for your loss. This was a beautiful post.
Stephanie O'Dea says
lots of love coming your way today. Good luck with the first day of school. xoox
Sommer@ASpicyPerspective says
Kristen, what a beautiful tribute to your brother. Thanks for your willingness to share about it and the reminder to cherish each moment with those we love. Hugs and Prayers!
Winnie says
Forgiveness, acceptance, and grace are so important Kristen. So very sorry for your loss. Take care.
Diane {Created by Diane} says
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, my thoughts are prayers are with you family.
Sandy @ RE says
Since I read your words yesterday morning I have been thinking about you. Love and appreciate your words here, your honesty means a lot. Paul and I will continue to lift you up in prayer, and your family. Love you, friend!
Jill says
Such a beautiful post Kristen. I am so very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Gaby says
this was a beautiful post Kristen! Sending lots of love and prayers to your family, I’m so sorry for your loss.
Barefeet In The Kitchen says
This is a beautiful post. I am praying for your family tonight.
Barb says
I am sorry for your loss! Your brother now rests in the arms of the Lord.
Marly says
I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad died a couple of years ago. We didn’t have the strongest of relationships, especially when I was a kid. It was better toward the end of his life. But sometimes in mourning him I would feel bad…as if maybe I didn’t deserve to mourn him as much because we didn’t have that life-long close relationship. I think I’ve discovered through this process that like your friend Wendy states, no one is perfect. No relationship is perfect. The best we can do is to find the good in whatever way we can. Your post brought all that back for me. A reminder to live in the moment and appreciate what I have – the beautiful imperfectness of it all!
Please know my thoughts are with you and your family…
Shanxi says
Praying for you and your family, Kristen. This hits so close to home, and I really appreciate your courage in sharing your thoughts with us during this time. Lots of love and prayers …
bianca says
Kristen, I am sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for sharing the great message of Grace. Though it’s something I think many people believe in, few of us choose it when the opportunity really presents itself. I needed to hear this today – so thank you for that! And on behalf of your children who might not realize it well enough to thank you now, I thank you – for modeling to them what LOVE is really all about 🙂
JulieD says
I’m so sorry for your loss, Kristen. Thinking of your brother’s family. Your words ring so true. Thank you for your words of wisdom even in at a time of loss. Sending you hugs from afar.
Laurie London says
Kristen, I’m so very sorry for your loss. Please know that your words profoundly touched me. I haven’t talked to my own brother in weeks because I’ve been so busy. I’ll call him today and tell him I love him. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Carolyn says
Beautiful. Thank you for writing this and sharing your thoughts, and your love, with us all.
Shaina says
I love this post, Kristen. It’s such a good reminder to all of us. I wish I could reach through the screen and hug you. Moving, touching, beautiful.
Cookin' Canuck says
Oh, Kristen – I am so sorry for your loss. When I saw you at EVO, I could see a deep concern and pain in your eyes when you spoke of your brother. It was clear to anyone there how much you loved him. You are in my thoughts.
Annette Friesen says
Kristen, I remember writing a comment on a post around a year ago after you lost someone else, a wonderful woman. I was going through my own trauma with my daughter at the time. You showed me grace then when you took the time to write me a very kind note. I don’t often get a chance to visit my favorite food blogs, but I did today and I was glad I did. Thank you for sharing such precious thoughts at such a difficult time.
LisaK says
Hugs! I’m sorry about your brother. I appreciate your wisdom.
Sharon {Grumpy, Sleepy, and Bashful} says
I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautifully written post, and a wonderful message for all of us. Smiles and hugs to you and your family.
Cousin Richard says
Just read “Giving Grace”
Thank you and your mom so much for telling us about this posting. Your words help during this time.
We appreciated so much being included yesterday in the family talk.
Love Richard and family
Mikki Jordan says
Have never read your blog & thought I would check it out. I am soooo sorry for your loss of your brother. My heart aches for you, your mother & family.
Lots of love to you & know you are in my thoughts & prayers.
Mikki
Melanie Flinn says
Beautiful words Kristen. I am sure your brother felt much at peace having you there with him. God bless you.
MaryKay says
Kristen~
I stumbled on your blog through another, and I am so very sorry about Larry. You loved him and he loved you, and that’s why it hurts so much when we lose someone.
I will keep you and yours in my prayers.
MaryKay
Jamie says
Kristen,
A beautiful post. Thank you for sharing such wise words during a sad family time. Very sad to hear your brother lost his battle with cancer.
Chaas says
That’s the perfect inisght in a thread like this.
Anne says
Sorry for your loss. Thank-you for sharing such eloquent and inspiring thoughts. Blessing to you and your family.
Pat Wogan says
Kristen, I just re-read this post. Thanks so much for writing it. And thanks to all your friends for their loving comments, as that is what makes the world a better place to live.
Colleen says
This blog post probably contains one of the most important messages you could ever convey to your readers. Well said Kristen, and I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you warm hugs from Cape Town. God bless xx
Karen says
I am so sorry for your loss, and pray that you are constantly wrapped in the arms of love and support from your family and friends. My husband passed away unexpectedly a little over a month ago; I know your heart is broken but please take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. We are truly blessed and fortunate to have the support and love of our family, friends, coworkers and others, even those who do not even know us personally.
Simone says
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss Kirsten. Your blogpost has moved me in so many ways since we recently lost Tom’s mom to cancer too and so every word you said was double meaningful, Wishing you and your family strength in these times. Hugs Simone
jocelyn grayson says
Very, very sorry for your loss.
Jeanette says
Kristen, so sorry to hear about your loss. It is never easy to lose a loved one, especially so young. Thank you for sharing what you learned about forgiveness and grace, it is something I am working on day after day.
Kathryn Sparks says
Kristen (also the name of one of my beloved sisters!), your post is so very pastoral and appropriate. We all go through terrible losses at some point, and this is a particularly difficult one, being rather sudden and, presumably, of someone not very old to begin with. One of the most comforting things to know in that loss is that we have been at peace with each other, allowed room for loving our imperfect loved ones and they in turn, imperfect *us*, fully. What a gift. We never know at what moment the end of any relationship will come and your words confirm that the only way through it is to acknowledge and prepare for it as best we can by making all our relationships as graceful as possible along the way!
Your offering of this wisdom to us others is a generous gift and says that you will go through this with good support yourself, and for both of those things I am very grateful.
Vanessa says
An inspiring post. I am so sorry for your loss. Siblings are such a big part of us.
matt says
BEST MESSAGE EVER. I shall take this with me as long as I can. So sorry for your loss.
Antoinette says
Kristen, I just read your message and you dont know me, but I had a loss as well the day before Thanksgiving, which was my brother as well. We were extremely close and having to depart has not been easy for me. Reading your message I felt that it was me writing expressing my darkness. So I wanted to say that I am very sorry for your loss and thank you for the message.