Alpha Mom – a modern mom who is confident and in control, a well informed decision-making multitasker. Hip, educated, technologically savvy, type A–personality mom.
I know that this is completely against all things good about the feminist movement, but I have always wanted to be like June Cleaver, or our modern day example, (minus all of the random murders, drug issues, etc) Bree Van de Camp. I would love to be the mom that always has linens on the table adorned with a beautiful centerpiece of fresh cut flowers from my garden in the middle. Having a plate of fresh from the oven cookies available whenever the little ones come in from playing in the picket fenced yard would be ideal. Having my home be in tip top shape, laundry never piling up, and my kitchen sink always shiny would be standard behavior for me. I would be the Alpha Mom… complete with the hip clothes, ever full PDA and a shining disposition.
I read an article in a small local magazine this week about the Alpha Mom and her opposite… the Slacker Mom. As much as I try to be like the Aplha Mom, I have discovered that my tendencies tend to be more Slacker Mom oriented. An example of this would be last nights dinner.
Alpha Mom – Alpha Mom would have looked at her menu for the week early on in the day, making notes of what meat needs to be thawed and what advanced preparations need to be made for dinner to be a complete success.
Slacker Mom – Slacker Mom remembers at 4:30pm that Calzones is on the menu. She completely forgot to start the bread dough and at this point, it is too late for it to rise and be ready by the 5:30pm dinner time. She looks in her fridge and realizes that there is no meat thawed, so she quickly takes some chicken out of the freezer, sticks it in the microwave and uses the handy defrost feature.
Alpha Mom – Alpha Mom would pull out her binder of organized recipes, or better yet…she would look on her PDA recipe program and pull up the perfect, tried and true Calzone recipe. After remembering that her recipe requires fresh Basil, Alpha Mom would put on her matching gardening gloves and head out to her bountiful herb garden in the backyard. She would clip some fresh Basil from her flourishing Basil plant and happily take it inside, ready to be added to the recipe.
Slacker Mom – Slacker Mom is in a rush and barely has time to look through recipes. She pulls up Recipezaar and pours through the Calzone recipes, hoping to find one that does not require a yeast based crust or store bought pizza crust. Once she finds a recipe that will work she notices it uses Basil. She looks at her barely thriving Basil plant and realizes that she does not have enough basil. She remembers that her neighbor is on vacation and that her Basil plant is like Alpha Mom’s…huge, bushy and flourishing. She crosses the street and sneaks into her fenced yard…snipping several Basil leaves off the plant and then returns home, pleased at her sleuthing abilities.
Alpha Mom – Alpha Mom doubles the recipe for her Calzones so that she can freeze some for her family. This way, her family can enjoy hot, fresh from the oven Calzones any time they wish.
Slacker Mom – Slacker Mom cannot think past 2 hours from now, let alone think about what her family can have for lunch a month down the road.
Alpha Mom – Alpha Mom has the kitchen back in order, her makeup and hair freshened up, and a smile on her face…ready to greet her loving husband at the door when he returns home. Dinner, complete with salad and fresh vegetables, will be hot and on the table by the time he comes downstairs after changing out of his work clothes.
Slacker Mom – Slacker Mom barely looks up when her husband comes home from his week long business trip. She and the kitchen are covered in flour and dough and dishes are everywhere. The kids are causing a commotion in the background, probably cutting each others hair or something, and the Calzones have yet to be baked.
Alpha Mom – Alpha Mom and her family enjoy a nice dinner outside on their patio…sipping lemonade, having intellectual conversation, and listening to brilliant little Timmy spouting off Fibonacci number sequences.
Slacker Mom – Dinner is served, outside on the deck. Calzones is it…no veggies, no salad…no intellectual conversation. In fact listening to the kids argue about who acted best while daddy was gone is the complete extent of the conversation.
I think you get the idea. I am definitely not the Alpha Mom. I am also not a complete slacker like I make myself out to be. I at least had a menu for the week. I did not give up and run out to McDonald’s for dinner. I was resourceful enough to know which neighbor to steal Basil from. I tried a new recipe, and it is one that will now be my standard Calzone recipe. If I was the Alpha Mom all the time, I wouldn’t have needed a recipe without the yeast based dough. Because I am not the Alpha Mom I discovered a Calzone recipe that has the most tender and delicious outer crust. The filling was a nice change from the typical Calzone and the reason why no intellectual conversation was heard at dinner time was because everyone was too busy stuffing their faces full of these delicious Calzone’s.
If you, like me, aren’t the Bree Van de Camp of your block and need a recipe that does not require a lot of advance preparation, go with this slacker…these Barbecue Chicken Calzones will be a hit with your brilliant family
Barbecue Chicken Calzones
Ingredients
- Barbecue Chicken Calzones
Dough
- 2 ½ - 3 cups flour
- 4 teaspoons baking powder
- 3 teaspoons fresh basil
- 1 tablespoon sugar
- 1/2 cup butter melted
- 2/3 cup warm water
- 6 teaspoons instant powdered milk
- 2 eggs
Filling
- 2 teaspoons margarine or butter
- 1 onion diced
- 2 boneless skinless chicken breasts cooked and diced
- 1 cup grated cheddar cheese
- 1 1/4 cups barbecue sauce
Instructions
- Combine 2 ½ cups flour, baking powder, sugar and basil.
- Add milk powder to water and stir until dissolved, add to dry mixture.
- Add eggs and melted butter and mix well. Add more flour until dough is easy to work with. Not dry, but not super sticky.
- Set aside while making the filling.
- For the filling:
- Cook onions in butter over medium heat until onions are tender.
- Add chicken and cook through.
- Remove from heat and stir in barbecue sauce and cheese.
- Divide dough into 8 pieces and roll out into 6 inch circles.
- Place ½ cup of filling in each circle.
- Fold dough in half and seal edges tightly.
- Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes or until top begins to brown slightly.
- Serve warm with extra barbecue sauce to dip in if desired.
sandi @ the whistlestop cafe says
Sisters in Slack!
peabody says
If I had children, I would so be slacker mom.
Anne says
You are SO NOT a Slacker Mom! You actually made a homemade dinner. And besides, the kids were probably happier not to have salad, so there.
I too, have fantasies about being a Bree. I also dream about being like Courtney Love. Go figure.
Asha says
Alpha calling!!;D
I don’t think you are a slacker at all.Calzones looks so yummy!I love the herby crust.
Kelly-Jane says
Great post!
Probably Alpha Mum, with the ocassional slacker moments 🙂
Lovely recipe too.
Deborah says
A dish like that could hardly be prepared by a slacker Mom! 😉 I know how you feel though.
Thanks for visiting my site – I’m really enjoying yours and will definitely add a link. Can’t wait to read more!
Cynthia says
Slacker mom – you are not!
Joe says
I like that this does not require a yeast-based dough! A great time saver indeed!
Jerry says
As much as I’d love to say that I would be an Alpha Mom, I’d so be a Slacker! Don’t worry too much about it, you’re still a great mom!!
Kat says
Thanks for a good belly laugh. Great post. Recipe sounds yummy!
Hugs!
Kat
katiez says
Sounds more like a Stepford Mom!
You fogot about having an iced martini in your hand for your hardworking, but ever faithful husband… or is that the everfaithful dog… I never could keep them straight.
I have some old cookbooks that explain how you should do that… "Don’t forget to freshen your lipstick and out on high-heeled shoes" Yeah, right!
Good job on the calzone!
Lynn says
You had me laughing out loud there. It sounds like Fly Lady has been beating you up a bit. I totally relate.
I tagged you for 7 random things on my site. If you’d like to participate, head over and check it out. 🙂
Kirsten says
Kristen – too cute!! You had me laughing.
I know already I will be a slacker mom, but I think slacker mom’s are a lot more fun and a heck of a lot easy to live up to.
You are neither alpha or slacker, you are just a great mom, wife and cook! 🙂
Chris says
Alpha, slacker…eh – whatever. You’re just way damn cool! 🙂 Can’t you see the kids chanting? "Go mom, Go mom!"
ashley says
Loved this post! And I’m saving the calzone recipe. 🙂
Patricia Scarpin says
You are SO NOT the slacker mom, Kristen!
When I have kids I wish I can handle the mission the way you do!
Kate says
Yikes! I am no Bree, nor am I June. Part of me feels like I channel Lily Munster, or someone like that. A bit odd, the dark horse, but a woman who truly loves and supports her family. Without bats and cobwebs.
Those calzones look so delicious that it’s making me want to throw together a batch (to hell with doubling….)and snarf them down. *sigh* Another heat wave may prevent that just yet.
Mary says
Ahhh to be an alpha. I’m not a mom but that’s my fantasy, too. Each week, for every successful alpha day, there are about 6 slacker days. Those calzones have alpha written all over them. Hubby was lucky to come home to those – floured countertops be damned! 🙂 Wonderful post.
Nora says
This is perfect! A quick calzone. When I want calzone, I want it NOW, so instead of heading off to the pizza parlour, this is a great one to try – thanks for sharing.
Jennifer says
Man…I’ve been SUCH a slacker this summer. Dinner coming in as late as 10:30pm. I am NOT kidding you. That was the worst ever. Someone smack me now! LOL!
flashyshades says
so excited to come across your food blog, i’ve been enjoying it
My Kitchen in Half Cups says
Now, I would be the lady across the street with grown kids and the giant basil growing in the backyard who would be singing your praises for picking some of the basil before it all flowered!
Funny, fun wonderful lady you are! Great calzones. Slacker is not part of you equation.
Cheryl says
I’m not a mom, but definitely would like this slacker treat.
Deborah says
It’s pretty pathetic that I’m more of the slacker mom and I’m not even a mom yet!! How do I expect to keep my life organized when I have children if I can’t even do it just taking care of a husband and a dog??
And I love the idea of bbq calzones. I’ll have to try that yeast free dough!
Elle says
You are so funny. Are there actually Alpha Moms? I love your description of the finished meal…it sounds so familiar, especially nice today for me. I doubt that being an Alpha Moms is much fun anyway. And, please, don’t inspect my kitchen sink.
sher says
oh boy!!!! Those calzones are to die for! Slacker or alpha–just give me one of those darn calzones!
veron says
love the comparison of alpha vs. slacker! I’m no mom but I definitely would be the slacker. This bbq calzone looks delicious!
Kelby says
I love seeing the discussion of Alpha vs. Slacker mom. I am a total Type-A Mom (see my link… heheh) in that I have a million things juggling at all times and I love it that way, but I definitely have a slacker style. As in, I would make this meal but as a last-minute impulse with no planning ahead of time whatsoever. Perhaps I’m a Slalpha Mom (eww… that sounds like an unsavory medical condition).
juie lackey says
I have been so wanting to get back and read this addition of DnD. I loved it. I’m so the slacker mom, all I wish I was the June Cleaver type. I aspired to that as well. Great writing Kristen.
Joanie Fagan says
I created and produce a PG13 comedy show (I’m an A type, over achiever, Mom) for ALL Moms, and parents actually, called 3 Blonde Moms…See How They Run!.Moms are buying tickets to our show in bulk. Most know of the show from other Moms, we ALL have an amazing way to promote by word of mouth, use the Internet often and skillfully, and so on. Maybe the Alpha’s are bringing the "slackers", but what I do know is ALL are laughing hard at what we ALL go through, and seem to really need a night out for good clean fun! We ALL need to fill up so we can do it all again the next day. Thoughts?