Ella, my 2 1/2 year old and I were in Target the other day, enjoying a rare morning where just the two of us get to hang out. We were leisurely shopping when Ella all of a sudden burst out in a very loud voice, “Ahhhh Dammit!” Shocked, I looked down to find her just sitting in the cart with a smirk on her face, and out it comes again… “Ahh Dammit!” Mortified, I try to hush her, but the more I tried the louder she gets. “Ahhh Dammit!” Just then, a mom with her brand new baby (like barely weeks old) walks by, obviously basking in the fact that her little one was snuggled up on her chest, quietly sleeping. Ella looks at the lady and out it comes again… “Ahhh Dammit!” The new mom, apparently not used to 2 1/2 year olds got a shocked look on her face, eyes large and looked at me like “Are you seriously sitting there allowing your 2 1/2 year old to cuss?” I smiled and then quickly put my hand over Ella’s mouth, which just resulted in her screaming.
Motherhood is funny sometimes. You don’t totally realize what you are getting yourself into when the babes are just tiny little creatures…demanding, yet still so vunerable. You watch movies, like Stepmom, and imagine that when your kids are older you will have lots of moments where the whole family is singing and dancing in front of the bedroom mirror using curling irons and brushes as your microphones. You dream of long talks over dinner, with your kids spilling their hearts out to you about everything that is happening in their lives. Oh, and that dinner? Every night it is well balanced and loved by all. And as your babe lies in your arms, you cannot imagine words like “Ahhhh Dammit” coming out of their mouths, especially in public!
<<Enter screeching record player sound of reality>>
The truth about motherhood is that, yes… we have fun with our kids, but those “movie scene” moments don’t happen as often as we’d like. Dinnertime soul to soul conversations? Haven’t happened for us yet, but with the help of some Food for Talk conversation starters, we are getting there. And that well balanced dinner? It can happen, but sometimes in the form of what we had for dinner the other night… cheese, carrots with ranch, cereal and a slice of turkey lunchmeat. Not what you imagine a food blogger serving up at night, is it? Well, and how about that lovely language coming out of the mouth of my 2 1/2 year old? All I have to do for that one is look in the mirror. Yes… “Dammit” happens to be my cuss word of choice and apparently I’ve been letting it escape from my own mouth far too often lately. Remember this, moms… don’t say anything you don’t want repeated by the little walking voice recorders in your house.
Oh…and one more thing. Learn Karma the easy way. If you plan on raising kids, never, ever lift your eyebrows at something you see a toddler do in a grocery store. Chances are it will come back to haunt you!
So, right now when I tell you that the girls and I enjoyed funnel cakes this morning for breakfast, I expect you to just nod, move on and not judge.
County Fair Funnel Cakes (adapted from Recipezaar)
- 3 eggs
- 1/4 cup sugar
- 2 cups milk
- 1 Tbs vanilla
- 3 2/3 cups flour
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 2 teaspoons baking powder
- 1/2 tsp cinnamon (optional)
- vegetable oil, for frying
- Beat eggs, sugar and vanilla together and then add the milk slowly–beat. Add the dry ingredients and beat until smooth and creamy.
- Pour batter into a funnel and at the same time, use your finger to plug the hole. In a large cast iron pot, add 2 inches of oil to the bottom.
- When the oil becomes hot, move your hand over the pot and slowly release your finger so the batter can start cooking.
- Move the funnel around to make designs.
- Brown on both sides–then immediately remove and drain extremely well.
- Top with brown sugar, or honey, or cinnamon sugar, or powdered sugar as a topping.
(Quick tip I learned from a Recipezaar member. If you don’t have a funnel, empty out a squeezable ketchup bottle and wash it thoroughly. Pour your batter into the bottle and squeeze the batter out, using that instead of a funnel. I prefer to do it this way because I can then easily store any leftover batter in the fridge for next go arouund!)
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Kristen… That is just too funny. Sounds like you handled it gracefully!
Hehehe! I remember many moments like that! Once, at a Mommy & Me date, my little 14 month-old darling got frustrated about something and sang out “Oh $h*t!” in front of about 20 other moms. I thought I would die from embarrassment. I just blamed it on Grandma! 😉
I have never made funnel cakes before, though I love them. They look incredibly good!
Susan at Sticky,Gooey,Creamy,Chewys last blog post..Flavor of the Month: Toasted Coconut-Sesame Brittle Ice Cream
I took my 25 year old daughter to Costco to get her a card. On the way out she was looking at the card and said “what the Hell?” I looked at her picture on her card and it looked like half her teeth were missing. I laughed so hard. So if I saw your sweet little daughter say dammit, I would just smile and say….Oh it just gets better honey!!!!!=)
OMG…that’s hysterical! I too used to judge other moms who I viewed as not doing much to discipline their children. Now I keep my mouth shut and think that could be me some day. I even pat the lady on the shoulder from time to time and say “it happens to the best of us.” Hang in there and thanks for sharing!
Wait until she hears her kid as a teenager…
Great dessert.
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“Oh, Man!” sounds kind of tame now, doesn’t it? Don’t you dare blame it on Grandma…she never cusses….or lies.
Funnel cakes can’t be any worse of a breakfast than pancakes or waffles, because those are drenched in syrup. So no raised eyebrows from me! 🙂
Stephanies last blog post..A Sweet Potato Meal
What a great idea to use the ketchup bottle to make the cakes! I have a pre-made can of funnel cake mix I’ve been meaning to try. I’m sure your from scratch would taste much better. I love me some funnel cakes!
Mrs. Ls last blog post..Small Plates – February 02, 2009
Alright! Funnel cakes for breakfast! Yahoozie!
Intentional cussing for effect—ah, those were the days (thank goodness they were rather short-lived). The most bittersweet thing in life? Watching your kids grow up. Savor every embarrassing, hair-pulling moment!
Sandies last blog post..Sweet Treats, Recipe: Blueberry Walnut Crunch
That will be a great story to tell her when she’s a teenager!!!
Funnel cake for creakfast sounds perfect!
Bridgets last blog post..Happy Birthday, Dad!!!
Funnel cakes are one of my daughter’s favorites. She’s 26 now but when she was about 7 she was helping her Grandma get the two goldfish out of the bowl so it could be cleaned. Wherever she would put the little net, the fish would swim around it. This went on for several minutes until my daughter blurted out “Come here you little bastard!” LOL She saw the shocked looks on my and my mom’s faces and started crying. She said that she heard her Dad say it to the dogs and thought it meant “Come here you little rascals!” LOL
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breakfast…geez!
Bridgets last blog post..Happy Birthday, Dad!!!
This post made me giggle so much, Kristen! I can just imagine your sweet little angel, lol! Just don’t forget to tell her boyfriend that story when she’s a teenager, that should be fun. 🙂 I need to make funnel cakes, they sound perfect for a lazy weekend. And thanks for the ketchup bottle tip, I’ll keep that in mind.
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LOL! Too, too familiar with the uncontrollable playback feature – with twins, you get it in stereo 😉
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Love this post (as always!). So true. That karma thing does come back to haunt you. Now, I don’t mind when I hear another kid have a tantrum at the store because I’ve been there. Sounds like you have an adorable little girl!
Sharis last blog post..Tuesdays with Dorie—World Peace Cookies
OMG… Funnel cakes have been my weakness for nearly 3 decades. Just when I though I had ride myself of this obsession… I can feel the pounds adding up again!
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This is hilarious. I think I wouldn’t have been able to stop laughing in the store, I would have tears in my eyes. Probably not the right reaction, huh? I feel bad for my future kids already….
Everyone’s stories are so funny! Kids say the darndest things. Funnel cakeeeeee!
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Oh, that reminds me of a time when I was in the kitchen and my daughter did something that really made me mad. However, in a moment of self-control, I actually controlled my tongue and calmly talked to The Girl about whatever it was.
My son, only about 3 yo, turns to me and says, “Mom, you forgot to say “Dammit”.
Gah! All that self-control for nothing! And I realized how quickly I needed to get my act together in order to turn some things around…
Why do they always listen to the things that we don’t want them to hear!?!
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Apparently that uptight Mom will have to find out from her daughter’s therapist the less you react the better when kid’s are testing their independence. Criticize funnel cake??? Only if you didn’t serve with butter….
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Babies who swear are the best kind of babies. It’s even better if they do it appropriately – like when something goes wrong – rather than just repeating it uncomprehendingly at random.
If I have kids, they’ll have little sailor mouths. I’ll be laughing too hard to stop them.
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Oh, Kristen – I had to laugh when I read this! My daughter did the exact same thing when she was about 4. She dropped something and burst out, “Dammit!” in her little high-pitched girlie voice. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out where she’d heard the word. Until the next time I dropped something. Ah, motherhood!
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That is so funny! If anyone could make cursing adorable, it would be your fantastic kids!
thank you for this wonderful recipe, but more importantly, for that very realistic and all-too-familiar story about kids and motherhood!
candys last blog post..I could eat for a week! {and then some!}
I spent today developing a pumpkin oatmeal cookie recipe because I was tired of trying to think of healthy breakfasts. 🙂 Funnel cake sounds great to me!
My 3.5 YO is the Bad Word Police–ever since she tried saying cr*p and learned she cannot she is determined to take stock of which words are bad words and police me if they leave my lips. The worst thing is that all of the minor curse words sound just as bad coming out of a 3.5 YO. Soon I will be relegated to “Fiddlesticks!”
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That mom will see the light one of these days I am sure of it. The great thing is that our kids will turn out to make us proud in every way:D
I have never made funnel cake. I should try making it with my two daughters some time. It looks like something they would enjoy.
After raising teenagers (one of my daughters is 16) I don’t comment on anyone’s children! I think you handled the situation ver well.
If it makes you feel any better, my families two favorite stories are the fact that my first words were “Not my ‘sponsibility” and that once, when I was about Ella’s age, I yelled “Give me the god damn butter” in a restaurant because no one would pay attention to me.
Go figure 😛
Too funny!! Isn’t it ironic that before we had kids we had a totally different outlook on kids like Ella? Now adays, I thank God when they are acting appropriately or at home with Daddy!!
Whit
Cranberry Chicken
1 can whole cranberries
1 Tablespoon Chopped garlic
1 envelope Lipton Onion soup mix
Assorted chicken pieces
Mix all together in large ziploc bag. Spray casserole dish, dumps contents into dish. Cook at 350 degrees till done, bone in takes longer. Serve with garlic mashed potatoes because the sauce is an amazing gravy!! I know this may not sound good, didn’t to me either, but my family LOVES it and it’s super easy!
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Very cute post. And funnel cakes for breakfast? I see no problem with that!
I have an *almost* 7-month-old who already listens intently to everything we say, which I have to remind Daddy of on a regular basis!
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How is it that kids seems to pick up on the words we aren’t “supposed” to say. I say bluebird and they say nothing, I swear and they parrot it back to me! If it makes you feel any better, I am a food blogger and a personal chef and my kids eat cheese quesadillas about 4 nights a week!
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Who’s judging? Those look good and I want a funnel cake.
AJs last blog post..Virginia is for chocolate lovers
Funnel cake is the best! I haven’t had it in forever!
Reminds me of the time my not-quite-three-year-old daughter and I were at Target. She pointed at a plastic knife, fork, spoon, plate set and said really loudly, “What the hell is that?”
What made it worse was my laughter. I could not quit laughing. Then a man walked up to me and told me the story about how one of his granddaughters said the F word while driving in the car. Hell was a lot better than the f word I guess!
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well, my 3 1/2 year old threw a tuntrum this afternoon in the foyer of a building. She was on the floor thumping her fists screaming that she did not want to go up to the doctor. Then a mother with her 7 year old daughter walks in and they both gave me the weirdest of looks. Oh well, I thought as I looked forward to pancakes later on, but now I think it will be funnel cakes 🙂
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That is so hilarious! They are truly little recorders, aren’t they? My little girl is sure to pick up a plethora of choice phrases from her mommy – it’s just so hard to keep it clean sometimes, you know? You’ll get no judgment from me!:-)
Love the funnel cake – like a fair in your kitchen!
PaniniKathys last blog post..Bacon, Cheddar & Grilled Tomato Panini
Looks tasty. Definately go with the cinnamon too.
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Ooh funnel cake for breakfast! That’s a treat! Once, I remember my mom let us have leftover birthday cake for breakfast and I thought she was THE greatest!
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Hehe, no judging here. I may not have kids but I have 3 little sisters and I remember how that was! Thing is those are the stories you’ll all be laughing about later in those “movies moments” when everyone’s older (which of course come rarely and are usually followed by a monstrous fight or something equally unglamorous) 🙂
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Kristen, you made me laugh, honey! 😀
And what you say about karma is so true… My stepmother used to do horrible things to us when we were little. And she would complain about us all the time. Now, my sister (who is her daughter) does everything we did back then and she can’t complain anymore… 😀
If someone had actually asked me if I was allowing my two year old to cuss I probably would have had some much ruder cuss words prepared for her. I mean how do you stop a two year old from cussing except to ignore it and let it run its course.
katies last blog post..Bread
My daughter was saying Dammit too but with a British accent and we just could not figure it out. We don’t know anyone with a British accent nor do any of us say dammit (other words yes, but never dammit). So one day we were watching Hornblower-our favorite British navel hero- only to hear him say “Dahmmit men row for your lives!” Ah ha!
We love funnel cakes and all the comments on this post are a hoot!
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Thanks for sharing this hilarious moment with us! Any mom that makes funnel cakes gets an A+ from me!
Jens last blog post..mango madness cocktail
Funnel cakes are just about the best things in the world! Those look great!
gagas last blog post..Potato Slabs
You’ve got to love kids…and their mouths. 🙂
This funnel cake looks insanely good.
peabodys last blog post..Starvation for inspiration….
oh funnel cake.
you have brought a big smile to this cold girl sitting on her butt wishing for summer to hurry on up and come. funnel cake is and always will represent summer to me. 🙂
That’s so funny. I’m 100% certain every mom has a similar story though at the time it feels like holy cow has this happened to anyone else?!
I absolutely hate when you are “talking” with your child in public & you get those folks who stare at you judgingly not minding there own business. I admit to responding with a glare & a “yes, did you need something?”
I see nothing wrong in either of your meal choices! Funnel cake sounds great to me! Thanks for the recipe & tip!
~ingrid
ingrids last blog post..Meyer lemons & what to make?
What lbieraitng knowledge. Give me liberty or give me death.
That is hilarious! My thing was singing beer commercials in church. My sister danced around the store singing that her mommy has “hippos” to feed her baby brother. I know we embarrassed our mom plenty!
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I would have passed out if my Mom had ever made funnel cakes for breakfast. In my book, that makes you pretty amazing!
We all have those moments, intentional or no. When I was growing up, my younger brother had a problem with the letter T. It always came out as the letter F for some reason. One day, we were walking down the road and a whole line of trucks came driving by. He got very excited and shouted “Truck! Truck! Truck!” as they passed. … it didn’t come out that way, though. The rest of us (including my mother) started off horrified, but when we realized what was going on, we laughed ’til we cried.
Great story!
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Ah, yes. The cussing toddlers. No judgment here! My own mother loves to repeat the tale that when I was a toddler, and had a fresh haircut which I didn’t like, a man in the market walked up to me and said “Some little boy just got a haircut.” As a 4 year old girl, this apparently offended me, because I replied “You mind your own god damned business.”
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This is sooo late, but . . . this is freakin’ hilarious! 🙂
I loved this!
P.S. Oh, yay! I just saw your BlogHer ’09 Chicago badge! I was hoping you get go to that!
These look soooo yummy!
These were the reason I would go to the fair. 🙂
Will have to make these and let you know how they turn out!
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Oh my goodness! Your post has me in a fit of giggles today. That is such a real mom moment right there. Thank you for keeping it real over here 🙂 And the funnel cake- that looks divine!!
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I absolutely adore funnel cakes. They are just about the best things on earth! Thank you sooo much for sharing this!
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OMG this was hilarious!!! LOLLLL I have an 18 month old and he LOVE sticks only he can’t say it right. He says it with a d instead of a s. So yeah…he finds the perfect time in crowded areas to yell it out.
Yesdivascancooks last blog post..Bourbon Chicken
Great recipe, thanks for sharing.
p.s. next time, instead of putting your hand over your daughter’s mouth, trying actually TELLING your daughter, “NO, you are not allowed to use those words.” If she says it again, immediately take her out of the cart and out of the store. Yes, it’s that easy. It worked for me. Only had to do it once.
p.p.s. yes, I realize your daughter is older now, but this also works with a six year old. JUST LEAVE THE STORE WHEN THEY ACT UP.
thanks. c:
how long does the batter last in the fridge?? made these last night everyone loved them (:
Hi Elaine –
I’m so glad you loved them! I honestly have never had enough batter leftover for them to last, but I believe it’s a lot like pancake batter, which can stay a couple of days in the fridge. I’m not positive but I think that should be ok!
Thanks!
Kristen
Sorry skipped the story but perfect recipe!!