Best Friends Forever

Let’s talk friendship, shall we?

I don’t have a best friend. I’ve always been one of those girls to have a lot of good friends but as an adult, not a best girl friend. You know, that one friend you can call up and she’ll drop everything and be there in minutes with chocolate ice cream and wine? Or the first friend you call when something happens to a family member, no matter what the time? I crave that friend who understands and will happily participate in an over night slumber party watching Dirty Dancing, Footloose, Say Anything, St Elmo’s Fire and The Breakfast Club? I have no one to call to come indulge my girlhood fantasies of a Gayle / Oprah type friendship.

I love and adore the friends I have. They are some of the best women in the world and I am so lucky to have them for whatever I can get them for. But a best friend is different, right?

I’m thankful my oldest two kids have found “that friend”. Kelly and Kylee have been friends since they were six months old and that friendship has blossomed through the years. Kylee is Kelly’s “I’ve got your back” girl, and Kelly is the same. Kylee lives 6 houses down from us and I bet most outsiders wouldn’t know that Kylee and Kelly don’t belong in the same house. They are rarely seen apart.

Jacob and Daniel are very much the same way. Daniel is our across the street neighbor and was the one I mentioned in my Project 365 post yesterday. They’ve been friends for almost 7 years now and are such a good match. It’s been fascinating to me to see how a boy best friend relationship works. It’s kind of a cool thing… a mutual understanding and respect that I don’t think a lot of girls have with each other. Either way, I am so glad they have each other.

When I was growing up, my mom used to say all the time to me how proud she was because of the friends I chose. I never knew what she meant by that until I had kids. Friends are important, but best friends… who you chose to spend most of your time with… influence you in a way no one else really can. Being associated with the wrong friend can bring you down. Being surrounded by great people can lift you up. I’m thankful my kids have found their bff match because I know from experience how difficult that is to do. A friend is special, but a best friend? A best friend is a rare and wonderful gift.

I’m going to caveat this with… my husband is my best friend and I am so thankful to have him in my life. He’s my lifeline and who I would call first (or nudge) if something happened in the middle of the night. If I was really nice to him, he may even indulge me in a chick flick movie marathon someday. The friendship I’m referring to in this post is a girlfriend bff. Just wanted to make sure I was clear!

Now, tell me about your best friend, will you? How did you meet? How long have you been friends? How have you nurtured your friendship thorough the years? I want to hear all about it!


 

Disclosure: I am honored to be a 2012 paid brand ambassador for Hallmark Life is a Special Occasion. All opinions expressed are my own. For special discounts, product offerings and news about Hallmark, feel free to sign up for their newsletter.

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Comments

  1. says

    Like you, my husband is my best friend. :-) I have a number of good girlfriends who I see at least once a week – playgroup, girls nights, gym, school dropoff, etc. I think because I met most of them around the same time as adults they’re all kind of on the same “friend level” so to speak. We each drop what we’re doing to help each other out, which is terrific. There are probably a few who are a little closer than others, but that’s to be expected. I haven’t had a true best girlfriend since high school. No matter – I’ve conditioned Mike to join me for Project Runway and Real Housewives and he knows we always walk into Anthropologie at the mall, lol. :)

  2. says

    Best friends are so important and for a little while there, I didn’t really have a best friend and right now I feel so fortunate to have a few best friends who are so supportive of me and yes I can call on them if I needed help or someone to talk to.

    So glad your daughter has one and I hope some day soon you find your best friend, other than your husband of course!

  3. Heather k Miller says

    I too have been without a best girlfriend most of my life. I have friends but not “that” friend. Until 3 years ago. We moved to Arizona and the first person I met was a girl named Valerie. We instantly hit it off and have been through so much together, the last three years, we will be forever friends. She just moved across the country and I miss her daily. Thank goodness for FaceTime and girls trips!

  4. says

    My BFF and I have been friends for 35 years. I moved away 6 years ago and it’s hard but we’ve remained BFF’s despite the distance. My husband has become my local best friend, he’ll even humor me with a chick flick (once in a while).

    So great to see our kids make those friendships as they grow up, they learn so much!

  5. says

    You have no idea how much I needed this post right now. This very topic has been on my mind a lot recently but I’m not sure why. I still have friends from high school and college that I keep in touch with but the nearest ones are 45 minutes away and I’m the only one without kids and we’ve just drifted a part. Not that we don’t still care about each other but life just happens and then you wake up one day feeling like you have nobody. Yes, there is the husband, but there’s something special about a best girlfriend. I’m an only child and have always been on the shy, quiet side so it takes me a long time to truly open up with people so now it feels like a chore to break in a new BFF if that makes sense. And it’s not something you can force, it just seems to happen when you meet the right person. I don’t know…

  6. says

    You have no idea how much I needed this post right now. This very topic has been on my mind a lot recently but I’m not sure why. I still have friends from high school and college that I keep in touch with but the nearest ones are 45 minutes away and I’m the only one without kids and we’ve just drifted a part. Not that we don’t still care about each other but life just happens and then you wake up one day feeling like you have nobody.
    My BFF and I have been friends for 35 years. I moved away 6 years ago and it’s hard but we’ve remained BFF’s despite the distance. My husband has become my local best friend, he’ll even humor me with a chick flick (once in a while).

  7. Kathy says

    A best friend sings your song for you when you can’t remember the words. And watches your sisters adorable, amazing, super fun kids so you can have them stay with you!

  8. says

    Kristen

    I feel the same way. I always envy seeing my friends have close best friends, but I have a close friend at work and I value our friendship. But as an adult since my life is already hectic with family and work, I always think someone else is just as busy and dont have time to hang out.

  9. says

    I love these photos of your kids with their best friends. It’s a great feeling when you feel like your child is armed with a best buddy to help them through the world. It is amazing that as we age, get out of college, marry, have children of our own, many times we grow apart from the best friends we’ve had since childhood. I was just thinking about that at an event that I went to with my best friend from second grade through high school. I married. She didn’t. I have children. She doesn’t. She flies internationally for a living. I’m very content at home or with my family in the RV. But even though our lives are now so very different than they were when we were practically inseparable, there is still that lifelong connection there with us. I could still call her at a moment’s notice. It just might take her a week to get home from Japan! :)

    A while back, I’d gotten a bit down that I didn’t have a “Best Friend.” My list for the special someone seemed simple – someone that lived in my town, had children about the same age, had a similar sense of humor, and “got me”. Looking back, that is a fairly tall order.

    I’ve since learned that your best friends do not necessarily have to live in your town. Even though mine lives in another state, I still text her photos of outfits and shoes and hairstyles, etc. for her opinion. And the gabbing? Oh yeah, we still go on and on about nothing. And you know, that’s really everything.

    Okay, so I’ve just realized I have written a book as a comment! :)

  10. says

    Great post! Like you, my best friend is my partner (boyfriend) but I wish I had a girl best friend. I was always the sports girl who loved to talk sports and didn’t know what to talk to girls about. Once I hit high school when it would be a perfect time to be able to blossom those girl friendships, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I was only at school to go to class and then I would leave every lunch to be with my mom. I missed that BFF opportunity. Now as an adult I wish there was an easy way to find that connection. Although I have faith that my BFF will pop into my life right when I need her the post :)
    -Michelle

  11. says

    My BFF and I met when she taught a scrapbooking class I went to – it wasn’t till a year later that we really got to know each other and now I can’t imagine life without her. She has seen me through every up and down in almost 13 years! She’s one of the few people in my life that I can completely be myself with and feel like she’s not judging me. She is a rare find indeed!

  12. Shelly says

    My best friend, Stephanie, AKA, “Lady” and I were thrown together through the computer and Loyola University Chicago. We were roomates our freshman and 1/2 of sophomore year (until I moved back home). We are now 37, I am married with 2 kids, she is in the process of a divorce with 2 kids. My kids call her Aunt Lady and have forgotten that her real name is Stephanie. Her kids call me Aunt Lady and probably don’t know I have a real name too. She is the one woman I know I can count on. I have other friends but have made them over the course of years because of my kids. I have a group of friends who I have known through the internet since my son was born. We were an ivillage group of November 99er’s who have all stayed in touch through the internet. I have met a few in person, but mainly they are friends through the use of technology. I have one son and one daughter and watching their personalities and the friends they choose have been amazing too.

    Shel

  13. says

    I too have been without a best girlfriend most of my life. I have friends but not “that” friend. Until 3 years ago. We moved to Arizona and the first person I met was a girl named Valerie. We instantly hit it off and have been through so much together, the last three years, we will be forever friends. She just moved across the country and I miss her daily. Thank goodness for FaceTime and girls trips!

  14. Pam says

    I’m so thankful for my best friend Jackie. As she posted earlier we met our Freshman year in college. We have maintained a friendship for 32 years celebrating, encouraging, laughing and crying together and becoming closer than most sisters along the way. I am so blessed to have Jackie in my life. I look forward to our morning chats on the drive to work. I wish for everyone a BFF like Jackie. All women deserve that in life.

  15. says

    I don’t really have a best girlfriend either, and reading these, it seems like maybe this is an invention from fiction and movies – at least the idea that EVERYONE has one! Some women have that and some don’t. I’ve got close friends, I’ve got close friends I’ve grown apart from, and some of the candidates for “best girlfriend” I’ve thought of have been guys… I don’t feel left out or friendless at all, though. Some people concentrate their friendship on one person, and others spread it out among a larger group, and I do the latter.

  16. says

    I’ve got to admit that I’m in the same boat.

    I’ve had best girl friends when I was younger, three girls that did everything together. But each of us moving out of state kills a best friendship when you’re younger. This was back when you could only write snail mail and there was no internet or cell phones or the technology to keep in touch well. (Yes, I am still friends with said childhood friends, but we are no longer the best “best” friends we once were.)

    My college best girl friends that I have are all over the place. We live all over the United States. Nowadays, we connect a few times a year for the major events (birthdays, weddings, babies, holidays, etc.) along with the few phone calls/emails/packages, but as close as we are, it’s hard to say that we are the best of friends like we were in college.

    Sadly, my bestest friend ever was my ex-boyfriend. We were together for practically ten years and after our break-up, while we remain friends to this day, our closeness has dissipated. My current relationship does not quite compare, but there are plenty of years to grow our relationship, not that I’m comparing the two completely different relationships. Then again, these don’t really count since we’re speaking about best girl friends right?

  17. says

    Lovely post Kristen. My BFF and I have been BFFs since we were 5 years old, after meeting in grade 1 (we are now both almost 28). As we’ve gotten older, life has gotten in the way of us spending as much time together as we once did (she just moved home after living in New York for 4 years – I visited her once each year!), but we talk at least once every day, whether it be on the phone or via text message. I am so lucky to have her!

  18. Tatyana says

    My best friend’s name is Neha. We met 13 years ago in Junior High (we are now 26). We’ve been inseparable since then. We’ve had our ups and downs but always talk things thru (communication is key). She is my go-to girl to share happy news, sad news, to vent, and to hangout. It’s a mutual thing.

    We both believe that a friend should challenge you to become better, be there to support you, have respect for you, be a good listener. We’ve followed this and are still learning. There is no one like her, no one that can replace her. Our friendship has grown, matured, and now we are more like family.

  19. says

    Aw…great post! My BFF and I have been ‘soulmates’ since we were 15 years old. Now we’re 34/35. She’s lived in Dubai for almost 5 years now and comes home to visit each summer for several weeks. When she plans her trip home, we always commit to weekly dinners at the place where she and her family stay. We meet every week to drink wine, eat fabulous food, read stories to her kids and pick up right where we left off. We laugh, talk about how our husbands drive us nuts and just cherish every minute we have together. She and her family just returned to Dubai a couple of weeks ago and I miss her like crazy. She’s family and I love her dearly no matter how far apart in distance we may be.

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