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A Messed Up Life (Recipe: Southern Buttermilk Biscuits)

Well, it’s official. That future therapy fund for my kids that I have been contributing to since their birth is definitely going to be used. Ella, my three year old, just informed me that I am messing up her life. Yep… at 3, she is already talking like a fifteen year old who can’t stand her mom. Funny thing is, when she told me that I was messing up her life, my imagination immediately pictured her as a teenager (she looked a lot like a gum chewing Cyndi Lauper). I have a feeling I have an interesting several years ahead for me with this one. I think I’ll up the contribution for her therapy fund, pronto.

What could I have possibly done to make my THREE year old declare that because of me, her life was on the downward spiral? Well, I gave her instructions on how to handle biscuit dough. I know! The horror.

We were having a nice little mother daughter bonding moment, making buttermilk biscuits to go with our favorite Baked Chicken Legs. Everything was going along just peachy when we got to patting out the dough. It was just about perfect when she decided to keep messing with the dough. I then explained to her that with biscuit dough, you can’t over work it and handle it too much or it will mess up the biscuits. That was apparently the straw that broke the camels back because her mood switched completely and she threw her hands up and exclaimed, “Well YOU are messing up MY life!”.

Biscuit dough has to be handled carefully or you will end up with tough, hockey puck, flat biscuits. There’s no therapy fund for biscuits. If you handle biscuit dough incorrectly, there is no turning back. Luckily, I have awhile to make up for my failures with 3 year old and just in case,  I’ll keep pitching money into her therapy fund.

Southern Buttermilk Biscuits (from Alton Brown)

  • 2 cups flour
  • 4 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
  • 3/4 teaspoon salt
  • 2 tablespoons butter
  • 2 tablespoons shortening
  • 1 cup buttermilk, chilled (I always use this recipe for buttermilk substitute)

Preheat your over to 450 degrees. In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Using your fingertips, rub butter and shortening into dry ingredients until mixture looks like crumbs. (The faster the better, you don’t want the fats to melt.) Make a well in the center and pour in the chilled buttermilk. Stir just until the dough comes together. The dough will be very sticky.

Turn dough onto floured surface, dust top with flour and gently fold dough over on itself 5 or 6 times. Press into a 1-inch thick round. Cut out biscuits with a 2-inch cutter, being sure to push straight down through the dough. Place biscuits on baking sheet so that they just touch. Reform scrap dough, working it as little as possible and continue cutting. (Biscuits from the second pass will not be quite as light as those from the first, but hey, that’s life.)

Bake until biscuits are tall and light gold on top, 15 to 20 minutes.

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  1. One of my friends had a three year old that was going on 16. I remember walking into their church building when we were visiting and she instantly went ahead of her parents acting as if she did not want to be seen with them. Another time we were babysitting for them and she got out of bed so we asked her if she was suppose to be out of bed and she looked at us, and no kidding did the ‘talk to the hand’ motion and said, “I need a minute”. Aren’t 3 year olds great!
    .-= Crystal’s Cozy Kitchen´s last blog ..Goals =-.

  2. Oh, you have to love toddlers and their moods! I mean, how DARE you coach her on the proper way to handle biscuit dough? What kind of mother are you? :-)

    That said, I think a therapy fund is a good idea. I’ll have to start looking into that for my own poor children…
    .-= Stephanie´s last blog ..Buttercream Syrup =-.

  3. that second photo is just hilarious! and so perfect for this story.

    and mmmmmmmm biscuits…..
    .-= Steph (Desserts for Breakfast)´s last blog ..Mothers’ Day Duo: Matcha Orange Pots de Creme and Orange Carrot Ginger Cake =-.

  4. What a funny story, she sounds like a hoot. I can just see her huffing at you :) At least you are prepared. Love the biscuits :)
    .-= Tickled Red´s last blog ..Put your heels up! =-.

  5. haha! :) that is great! She’ll thank you for teaching her how to properly make biscuits someday! I was recently teaching a woman how to make bread… I kept saying “this is how my mom taught me!” A wonderful thing to pass along to your kids!

  6. OMG, I had to laugh. Three? At least you don’t have to be concerned that she doesn’t know how to assert herself ;>)

  7. Oh my that is too funny! I love your stories about your little ones & that picture is wonderful.
    .-= picky cook´s last blog ..malted guinness milk chocolate ice cream with whoppers =-.

  8. Hahahah I LOVE that picture. It is priceless. :)
    .-= Jessica @ How Sweet´s last blog ..Happy Mother’s Day. =-.

  9. Haha I LOVE that picture. Downward spiral haan?
    .-= snacksgiving´s last blog ..Cupcakes for Spring =-.

  10. Love the story and the photo – but seriously how could anyone complain when eating these delicious biscuits?

  11. A therapy fund is a great idea, but not for our kids for us to get us through the teen years:D I would consider it therapeutic to make these biscuits:D

  12. Hehehe! I can definitely relate. This is how it starts. Wait until she is a teen and absolutely nothing you do is right! I wish I’d started my therapy fund years ago. ;)
    .-= Susan @ SGCC´s last blog ..St. Agur Cheese: Three Ways =-.

  13. This is absolutely hilarious, and the photo is highly apt! I’m itching to have biscuits soon, but still deciding on a recipe to try out. How does this recipe match up to your mom’s?
    .-= ovenhaven´s last blog ..not for the flour nazi =-.

  14. What a cute little story, you’ll have to remember it for when she’s older! Your biscuits look divine, I definitely want to make them NOW :)
    .-= Heather I.´s last blog ..Alex’s Scrambled Eggs =-.

  15. Pat Wogan says:

    Be careful when you answer ovenhaven’s question. Mama is watching. Ella is sooo creative.

  16. Hahaha I love the picture of your daughter! I should probably start a therapy fund for my kids now…..and I’m not even planning on having kids anytime soon :).
    .-= Mackenzie@The Caramel Cookie´s last blog ..Guest Post: Cookie Dough Truffles =-.

  17. Hilarious! I love the picture of your daughter. She looks like a free spirit!
    .-= Melissa´s last blog ..Lemon-Lime Curd =-.

  18. We have really been enjoying those baked chicken legs. Have these replaced the other biscuits you posted, because we eat a lot of those too. Should I switch to these? :)
    .-= Jimi´s last blog ..Chris Cooks Days 4 & 5 =-.

  19. Kids say the darndest things! But they’ll still eat your biscuits. :)
    .-= The Duo Dishes´s last blog ..Patience is Indeed a Virtue =-.

  20. Skip the therapy and enroll her in acting classes. Obviously she has a flair for drama.


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  4. [...] going to work or not, but it did work…and it worked so well that neither kid wants me to make plain old buttermilk biscuits again or boring old banana muffins. They both want me to keep a hold of this recipe for Banana [...]

  5. Belinda Broido

    A Messed Up Life (Recipe – Southern Buttermilk Biscuits)

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