Paula Deen and I appear to have something in common. We both believe that if you are going to make dessert, you might as well just go all out. Bring out the butter, pour on the sugar… none of this Splenda and light this and that business. Everyday cooking, you need to lighten up, but dessert? If you can’t making something indulgent, why make anything at all?
Now, listen carefully because there is a significant sequence of events that have led me to have to say goodbye to Paula for awhile. Even though I love Ms Paula, a few words “from the mouths of babes” have encouraged me to re-think things a bit. Maybe there is a reason those of you who post about light desserts are skinny. Maybe, just maybe, you are on to something.
Written here, is the sequence of events that have certainly changed my immediate future as I know it.
- On a whim, I saw Paula Deen’s Best Desserts on the magazine stand and I picked up a copy
- As soon as I got home, I thumbed through the magazine and dog eared page, after page, after page of delicious dessert recipes
- Fast forward a few days and I am in the shower. In to the bathroom walks my 3 year old. She glances at me and says “Mama, why are your boobies laying down on your tummy?” To add insult to injury, I thought for sure I had misunderstood what she said, so I had her repeat it. Nope… word for word, spot on. No denying what she said.
- Just a mere two days later, my 6 year old walks into my bathroom, again, while I am in the shower. She looks at me and her face turned to the most excited expression and she shouts “Mom? We’re having another baby??!!!!” Yeah… thanks a lot. She was immediately cut from the will.
- I quickly decide that #1 – I need to get a door on the master bath so my insulting kids can’t come in and verbally assault me anymore while I am helpless in the shower and #2 – I need to buy an elliptical.
- Elliptical purchased, kids banned from my bathroom, and my dear, Paula Dean Best Desserts magazine sits staring at me, day after day…taunting me to make something – anything.
- Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. Paula Deen and I meet again. I had an occasion to make a dessert. Is it a sin to make something of Paula’s light? I think so. I’m pretty sure it would have been #11 in the Ten Commandments had they had room on their stone tablet for one more.
- Made Cookies & Cream cupcakes and <gasp> did cut down on the powdered sugar by a couple of cups, but otherwise kept all of the butter, sugar, cream, in tact.
These Cookies & Cream cupcakes from Paula Deen’s Best Dessert Special Collector’s Issue (which should be banned from butter lover’s anonymous because there is a lot of butter in this book. Paula must have something special going on with the National Dairy Council.) They may have a lot of calories, but they are worth every last little bit. And if your kid starts to comment on the size of your behind, just stuff a cupcake in their mouth. That should take care of it.
Cookies and Cream Cupcakes from Paula Deen Best Dessert Special Collector’s Issue
- 1 1/2 cups butter, softened
- 1 1/2 cups sugar
- 3 large eggs
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 3 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 Tbs baking powder
- 1 tsp salt
- 1 1/2 cups whole milk
- 14 coarsely crushed cream-filled chocolate wafer cookies (Oreos)
- Cream Cheese Frosting (recipe follows)
- Garnish: miniature cream filled chocolate wafer cookies
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line 28 muffin cups with foil liners.
In a large bowl, beat butter and sugar at medium speed with a mixer until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in vanilla.
In a medium bowl, combine flour, baking powder, and salt. Gradually add to butter mixture, alternately with milk, beginning and ending with flour mixture, beating just until combined after each addition. Stir in crushed cookies. Spoon batter into prepared muffin cups. Bake for 16 to 20 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Let cool in pans for 10 minutes. Remove from pans, and cool completely on wire racks. Spread or pipe Cream Cheese Frosting evenly over cupcakes. Garnish with cookies, if desired.
Cream Cheese Frosting (Makes 6 cups… I only needed half of this recipe for the cupcakes)
- 3/4 cup butter, softened
- 12 ounces cream cheese, softened
- 1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
- 9 cups confectioners’ sugar (I only used 6 cups and the frosting was great)
In a large bowl, beat butter and cream cheese at medium speed with a mixer until creamy. Beat in cream until combined. Gradually add confectioners’ sugar, beating until smooth.
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Exactly why I have a lock on the bathroom door!!! SO, so funny!
PS…I bought The Firm Wave last week at WalMart…somebody really need to market exercise equipment to food bloggers!
Oh my! I just pee’d a little on myself.
That’s classic.
.-= Amy from She Wears Many Hats´s last blog ..Real woman eat homemade salsa too. =-.
Oh, what a painful post… Get a lock for the bathroom door! I’m with you though. The dessert looks amazing.
I’m right there with ya! My 12-year-old daughter likes to pick what I’m going to wear for the day. Only problem is all the cool clothes (to a 12-year-old) are way too small, haven’t fit for years. Sigh…
.-= Abigail@Sugar Apple´s last blog ..Behind the Camera =-.
LOL!! Ohmigosh…kids. I am so with you and Paula – if it is dessert, it’s time to go ALL OUT!
.-= Jessica @ How Sweet´s last blog ..Crab Avocado Quesadillas. =-.
OMG Kristen, I have tears rolling down my cheeks………
.-= TidyMom´s last blog ..Creamy Italian Crock-Pot Chicken =-.
I am laughing! I may not have little ones to insult me any longer (now they really know what they are saying!), but my mirror isn’t being very kind these days! When your upper arms start to jiggle it is time to get back to the gym!
I would still have a cupcake anyway!
Remind me never to let your kids see me in a bathing suit
.-= Maris (In Good Taste)´s last blog ..Chicago Food Blogger Bake Sale…in Pictures & Recipes =-.
I don’t think that I can breathe after reading that. It’s amazing what comes out the little monkeys sometimes
I am just thankful that my boys are too old to shower with me now. Time does march with a heavy foot in some areas.
PS: Paula is the bees-knees
.-= Tickled Red´s last blog ..Bake Sale =-.
Oh, Paula. Have you seen her recipe for deep-fried butter balls? Or, this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zv8yEMRDe_w ? The woman is insane. I have no idea how she’s still alive!
.-= Steph (Desserts for Breakfast)´s last blog ..We will return to regular programming soon… =-.
I’m trying to stop laughing…that’s exactly how I feel, minus the children actually telling me. I told my husband, once I’m done having children, I’m getting my boobs lifted.
.-= Susan´s last blog ..Banana Pudding Cupcakes =-.
And you think I’m funny? That’s hysterical! If a child can’t bring on a reality check, no one can. The cupcakes though, do sound yummy. Perhaps when I’m off my, err hmm, diet.
.-= Sandie´s last blog ..Fix It Fresh (Recipe: Abingdon Manner’s Salad of Apples & Oranges with Honey-Garlic Dressing) =-.
Kristen: Thanks for a great laugh after a long Monday at work. Love Paula’s desserts! I agree no “light” desserts for me. Although I did make a trifle a couple of weeks ago, with chocolate and bananas that was “light” and it was heavenly.
.-= Julie´s last blog ..Sweet Potato Bread – SMS =-.
I’m just waiting for such words to come my way as soon as my little girl figures out how to express them. Oh man! Oh well, cupcakes make it better
.-= Kathy – Panini Happy´s last blog ..Spicy Grilled Cheese Sliders =-.
hilarious! if that isn’t motivation to stay healthy when i hit motherhood, i don’t know what is!
.-= sarah´s last blog ..chili powder =-.
So. I have to say. I did the substitution thing for a while. And then I switched to real butter for one key guinness cupcake recipe. And I never went back. They just taste so much better. And this is why I go to the gym every day.
These look absolutely amazing! Your daughter is so funny. If there’s one thing kids don’t have…it’s tact.
.-= Joanne´s last blog ..Bittman’s Brownies =-.
Hysterical – it’s been quite a while, but I DO remember those days. Someday you can sit back and laugh when it happens to *them* (what goes around, comes around)
) Thanks for a great giggle!
You just made me laugh with this post! That is totally the reason I close the bathroom door (it sticks, so no lock needed)… I agree, they need to market fitness equipment and workout videos to food bloggers!
.-= patsy´s last blog ..Tasty Tidbits and The Boys of Spring =-.
LOL LOL LOL..I can laugh because my kids are the same way. I was on the treadmill yesterday and my son thought it was funny how my butt shook up and down when I ran….um yeah, thanks!!!
.-= leslie´s last blog ..Roasted Vegetable Pasta =-.
I couldn’t agree with you more. I just don’t get healthified snacks. I’d much prefer to have just a sliver of the real thing than a huge portion of a healthy version
Oh my gosh! I nearly spit out the ICE CREAM I was eating!! That whole scenario was hilarious. Including the fact that this recipe comes from a magazine ‘collectors edition’. Are there really people that are going to keep the magazine in pristine condition, unused, vacuum sealed in a plastic case?
.-= Laura´s last blog ..Lemon Cake =-.
These look really good! I just got Martha Stewart’s Cupcakes book and there’s one that’s a cookies and cream cheesecake with a whole oreo cookie as the crust. I bet you would enjoy that too! Your photo is also really cute =)
Oh my god. I’m never having kids. Like I need tiny people telling me these things all day. Isn’t my brain telling me this stuff all day enough?
You are hilarious but you are right. No expense cut from dessert.
I’d gladly let go of my behind for these cupcakes! It’s not worth keeping anyway.
Ha!! Oh man, kids and their comments…. when my cousins were little, my aunt brought them shopping with her and made the mistake of bringing them into the dressing room with her while she tried on clothes… for the rest of the day, they walked around the mall chanting “Big butt, big butt, big butt…” softly behind her!
.-= Bethany´s last blog ..Quesitos con Guayaba (Sweet Cheese Pastries with Guayaba Filling) =-.
I agree, no need to lighten up the desserts. But, honestly, sometimes they’re just too sweet for me, so I have to cut back on the sugar a little.
And nothing wrong with a little indulgence. As long as it’s an infrequent… better to satiate the craving moderately, than to deny yourself and then go hog-wild a few days later.
Oh my, your kids are too funny. After our share our strength bake sale, I’ve got more than 50 cupcakes staring at me in the fridge, and I’m running up and down the stairs till my knees are week twice a day. I really want to drop 20. Its so annoying how the blues (mine from my mother’s passing last year) really pack on the pounds.
.-= Angie´s last blog ..Mashed Potatoes with Sour Cream and Chives =-.
Thanks for the funny post. I am still smiling. I just had a baby 8 months ago and I fear the weight will NEVER come off. My kids walk in my bathroom while I am showering every morning. I finally asked my husband to help shield me, because I feel like I am on showcase at a zoo or something.
These cupcakes look great. The kids will love them.
Oh my gosh, don’t you just love kids! I never have any privacy in the bathroom. I finally started pulling out a drawer to block the door. One thing is for sure. My 40+ yr old body is NOT what it used to be and it’s going to take more than cutting desserts!!!! I’m supposed to be exercising now. And I’m standing in my kitchniteith my iPhone. Apple is making me fat, not Paula.
.-= Kris´s last blog ..Do cows need vacations? Yes, they do! =-.
This was hysterical! I felt like you were telling a story about me, lol… Fab cupcake recipe too!
these look so good! And your post made me laugh out loud! those cupcakes look totally worth it though!
.-= megan´s last blog ..Sandwich Buns =-.
Yes- a door is a must! Although my 6 year old thinks it’s just for her sister to stay out. Hmm… And remember that all things can be done in moderation. I DO NOT believe in a NO list for foods. The two best E’s: Eat and Exercise!!
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..First Annual National Food Bloggers Bake Sale =-.
Fun post:) Love the cupcakes too!
.-= Maria´s last blog ..2peas3-0 =-.
Oh, Kristen! I can’t stop laughing! This is hilarious! I can’t think of anything to say as you have me busting a gut here! I just love y’all! xx
P.S. Darn your awesome food photography–I’m not much of an Oreo fan, but those look soooo good! Great pic!
Funny post, I can’t stop laughing. I wonder how much more my bottom can expand before it becomes its own landmark.
I better get into shape before mine starts to talk!
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..GO TEXAN Grapefruit, Honey and Lavender Cupcakes =-.
Oh! I’m with you on the desert thing. None of this with the black beans in my brownies. No no no no no. Just no.
Butter makes everything better…Paula looks completely happy and who am I to contradict her?
.-= Trysha´s last blog ..Sunday Studs-1st Edition =-.
Oh, what a great post, Kristen. I’m not sure what made me laugh more–your post or the comments on it. =) Definitely no privacy here…
.-= Di´s last blog ..And one to grow on =-.
omg, too funny. the cupcakes look like the perfect solution to pesky kids.
.-= Cate O’Malley´s last blog ..Ten on Tuesday =-.
LOL! I’m so glad I live alone now haha. I insult myself enough as it is. I couldn’t handle hearing it from the mouths of babes haha.
These cupcakes look great. I would have reduced the amount of powdered sugar, too. Nine cups seem a bit excessive.
This post is so funny! Thanks for the laugh!
Your cupcakes are amazing. Ms Paula Deen has done it again.
Magda
.-= my little expat kitchen´s last blog ..Dancing salmon =-.
Out of the mouths of babes! I have stories that would curl your hair – just take note from someone who’s been there, done that – you WILL make it out of this stage alive . . . kids on the other hand . . . just kidding!
.-= smithbites´s last blog ..SPAGHETTI ALLA CARBONARA =-.
No see you go ahead and make them, full butter sugar and all. But then you give them away. To readers. Like me. Works. No really.
.-= Mrs. L´s last blog ..3rd Wedding Anniversary =-.
I had to laugh at what the kids told you. They can be so sweet but so insulting too! My daughter poked my belly after I got out of the gym yesterday and said, “nope still fat!” Ugh!
.-= Robin Sue´s last blog ..Modern v. Mike’s Cannoli Throwdown Plus more North End Eats =-.
HILARIOUS story!! The cupcakes look great. I am going to have to get that Paula Deen magazine now.
.-= Steph @ Plain Chicken´s last blog ..Ultimate Chicken Fingers =-.
I’m still chuckling about the kids comments, but veryvery glad they can’t get into MY bathroom! I’ve gotten used to European desserts, which are not nearly as sweet as American ones, and I can’t eat Paula’s stuff anymore–it sends me into sugar shock! But I grew up with that kind of cooking, and I have fond memories…
.-= Kate at Serendipity´s last blog ..Under the Little Big Top =-.
Too funny, Kristen. I have to say I completely agree with your first paragraph. Was served a “light” chocolate cake at a food convention I was attending today and my first thought was “Why?” If you’re not going to pull out all of the stops, why have it at all?
.-= Carrie´s last blog ..Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies with Pecans and Dried Cherries (aka My Own "Bottle Cap") =-.
Oh my dear Kristen! I can totally relate to what you have written about, though the lock on my bedroom door is securely fastened when I take a shower (with an 8 year old boy in the house!) Some lightened up desserts can still be good, but not AS good as the original. I prefer to make them full-fat, sample them and then scoot them out the door and give them away as soon as possible! Many times, they make their way into the freezer for lunches, and I’m not as tempted to defrost them if they’re in there!
.-= Lori @ RecipeGirl´s last blog ..Kumquat Marmalade w/ Orange-Pecan English Muffin Bread =-.
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