Ahh Dammit (and a Funnel Cake Recipe)

Ella, my 2 1/2 year old and I were in Target the other day, enjoying a rare morning where just the two of us get to hang out. We were leisurely shopping when Ella all of a sudden burst out in a very loud voice, “Ahhhh Dammit!” Shocked, I looked down to find her just sitting in the cart with a smirk on her face, and out it comes again… “Ahh Dammit!” Mortified, I try to hush her, but the more I tried the louder she gets. “Ahhh Dammit!” Just then, a mom with her brand new baby (like barely weeks old) walks by, obviously basking in the fact that her little one was snuggled up on her chest, quietly sleeping. Ella looks at the lady and out it comes again… “Ahhh Dammit!” The new mom, apparently not used to 2 1/2 year olds got a shocked look on her face, eyes large and looked at me like “Are you seriously sitting there allowing your 2 1/2 year old to cuss?” I smiled and then quickly put my hand over Ella’s mouth, which just resulted in her screaming.

Motherhood is funny sometimes. You don’t totally realize what you are getting yourself into when the babes are just tiny little creatures…demanding, yet still so vunerable. You watch movies, like Stepmom, and imagine that when your kids are older you will have lots of moments where the whole family is singing and dancing in front of the bedroom mirror using curling irons and brushes as your microphones. You dream of long talks over dinner, with your kids spilling their hearts out to you about everything that is happening in their lives. Oh, and that dinner? Every night it is well balanced and loved by all.  And as your babe lies in your arms, you cannot imagine words like “Ahhhh Dammit” coming out of their mouths, especially in public!

<<Enter screeching record player sound of reality>>

The truth about motherhood is that, yes… we have fun with our kids, but those “movie scene” moments don’t happen as often as we’d like. Dinnertime soul to soul conversations? Haven’t happened for us yet, but with the help of some Food for Talk conversation starters, we are getting there. And that well balanced dinner? It can happen, but sometimes in the form of what we had for dinner the other night… cheese, carrots with ranch, cereal and a slice of turkey lunchmeat. Not what you imagine a food blogger serving up at night, is it? Well, and how about that lovely language coming out of the mouth of my 2 1/2 year old? All I have to do for that one is look in the mirror. Yes… “Dammit” happens to be my cuss word of choice and apparently I’ve been letting it escape from my own mouth far too often lately. Remember this, moms… don’t say anything you don’t want repeated by the little walking voice recorders in your house.

Oh…and one more thing. Learn Karma the easy way. If you plan on raising kids, never, ever lift your eyebrows at something you see a toddler do in a grocery store. Chances are it will come back to haunt you!

So, right now when I tell you that the girls and I enjoyed funnel cakes this morning for breakfast, I expect you to just nod, move on and not judge.

County Fair Funnel Cakes (adapted from Recipezaar)

  1. Beat eggs, sugar and vanilla together and then add the milk slowly–beat. Add the dry ingredients and beat until smooth and creamy.
  2. Pour batter into a funnel and at the same time, use your finger to plug the hole. In a large cast iron pot, add 2 inches of oil to the bottom.
  3. When the oil becomes hot, move your hand over the pot and slowly release your finger so the batter can start cooking.
  4. Move the funnel around to make designs.
  5. Brown on both sides–then immediately remove and drain extremely well.
  6. Top with brown sugar, or honey, or cinnamon sugar, or powdered sugar as a topping.

(Quick tip I learned from a Recipezaar member. If you don’t have a funnel, empty out a squeezable ketchup bottle and wash it thoroughly. Pour your batter into the bottle and squeeze the batter out, using that instead of a funnel. I prefer to do it this way because I can then easily store any leftover batter in the fridge for next go arouund!)

You have until tomorrow night to share your favorite family recipe with my family… you could win an Amazon.com gift certificate for doing so! Head over to this post to find out more.

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  1. says

    Oh, Kristen – I had to laugh when I read this! My daughter did the exact same thing when she was about 4. She dropped something and burst out, “Dammit!” in her little high-pitched girlie voice. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out where she’d heard the word. Until the next time I dropped something. Ah, motherhood!

    Sandys last blog post..Homemade Yogurt: Plain and Simple

  2. says

    Babies who swear are the best kind of babies. It’s even better if they do it appropriately – like when something goes wrong – rather than just repeating it uncomprehendingly at random.

    If I have kids, they’ll have little sailor mouths. I’ll be laughing too hard to stop them.

    camilles last blog post..Mini Meatpies

  3. says

    I spent today developing a pumpkin oatmeal cookie recipe because I was tired of trying to think of healthy breakfasts. :) Funnel cake sounds great to me!

    My 3.5 YO is the Bad Word Police–ever since she tried saying cr*p and learned she cannot she is determined to take stock of which words are bad words and police me if they leave my lips. The worst thing is that all of the minor curse words sound just as bad coming out of a 3.5 YO. Soon I will be relegated to “Fiddlesticks!”

    Lauras last blog post..What A Winter!: Anadama Bread

  4. says

    I have never made funnel cake. I should try making it with my two daughters some time. It looks like something they would enjoy.

    After raising teenagers (one of my daughters is 16) I don’t comment on anyone’s children! I think you handled the situation ver well.

  5. says

    If it makes you feel any better, my families two favorite stories are the fact that my first words were “Not my ‘sponsibility” and that once, when I was about Ella’s age, I yelled “Give me the god damn butter” in a restaurant because no one would pay attention to me.

    Go figure 😛

  6. says

    Too funny!! Isn’t it ironic that before we had kids we had a totally different outlook on kids like Ella? Now adays, I thank God when they are acting appropriately or at home with Daddy!!
    Cranberry Chicken
    1 can whole cranberries
    1 Tablespoon Chopped garlic
    1 envelope Lipton Onion soup mix
    Assorted chicken pieces
    Mix all together in large ziploc bag. Spray casserole dish, dumps contents into dish. Cook at 350 degrees till done, bone in takes longer. Serve with garlic mashed potatoes because the sauce is an amazing gravy!! I know this may not sound good, didn’t to me either, but my family LOVES it and it’s super easy!

    Whitneys last blog post..Visitors part 2

  7. says

    Very cute post. And funnel cakes for breakfast? I see no problem with that!

    I have an *almost* 7-month-old who already listens intently to everything we say, which I have to remind Daddy of on a regular basis!

    Abbys last blog post..Fried Apple Pies

  8. says

    How is it that kids seems to pick up on the words we aren’t “supposed” to say. I say bluebird and they say nothing, I swear and they parrot it back to me! If it makes you feel any better, I am a food blogger and a personal chef and my kids eat cheese quesadillas about 4 nights a week!

    Danas last blog post..Mushroom Enchiladas

  9. says

    Reminds me of the time my not-quite-three-year-old daughter and I were at Target. She pointed at a plastic knife, fork, spoon, plate set and said really loudly, “What the hell is that?”

    What made it worse was my laughter. I could not quit laughing. Then a man walked up to me and told me the story about how one of his granddaughters said the F word while driving in the car. Hell was a lot better than the f word I guess!

    Shelleys last blog post..Recipe R&R – Cooking During Stolen Moments Ranch Cheesy Potatoes & Ham

  10. says

    well, my 3 1/2 year old threw a tuntrum this afternoon in the foyer of a building. She was on the floor thumping her fists screaming that she did not want to go up to the doctor. Then a mother with her 7 year old daughter walks in and they both gave me the weirdest of looks. Oh well, I thought as I looked forward to pancakes later on, but now I think it will be funnel cakes :-)

    ossis last blog post..Meyer lemon pasta with seared scallops

  11. says

    That is so hilarious! They are truly little recorders, aren’t they? My little girl is sure to pick up a plethora of choice phrases from her mommy – it’s just so hard to keep it clean sometimes, you know? You’ll get no judgment from me!:-)

    Love the funnel cake – like a fair in your kitchen!

    PaniniKathys last blog post..Bacon, Cheddar & Grilled Tomato Panini

  12. says

    Hehe, no judging here. I may not have kids but I have 3 little sisters and I remember how that was! Thing is those are the stories you’ll all be laughing about later in those “movies moments” when everyone’s older (which of course come rarely and are usually followed by a monstrous fight or something equally unglamorous) :-)

    Hopies last blog post..Crème à la féta et aux poivrons rôtis

  13. says

    Kristen, you made me laugh, honey! 😀

    And what you say about karma is so true… My stepmother used to do horrible things to us when we were little. And she would complain about us all the time. Now, my sister (who is her daughter) does everything we did back then and she can’t complain anymore… 😀


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