Ahh Dammit (and a Funnel Cake Recipe)

Ella, my 2 1/2 year old and I were in Target the other day, enjoying a rare morning where just the two of us get to hang out. We were leisurely shopping when Ella all of a sudden burst out in a very loud voice, “Ahhhh Dammit!” Shocked, I looked down to find her just sitting in the cart with a smirk on her face, and out it comes again… “Ahh Dammit!” Mortified, I try to hush her, but the more I tried the louder she gets. “Ahhh Dammit!” Just then, a mom with her brand new baby (like barely weeks old) walks by, obviously basking in the fact that her little one was snuggled up on her chest, quietly sleeping. Ella looks at the lady and out it comes again… “Ahhh Dammit!” The new mom, apparently not used to 2 1/2 year olds got a shocked look on her face, eyes large and looked at me like “Are you seriously sitting there allowing your 2 1/2 year old to cuss?” I smiled and then quickly put my hand over Ella’s mouth, which just resulted in her screaming.

Motherhood is funny sometimes. You don’t totally realize what you are getting yourself into when the babes are just tiny little creatures…demanding, yet still so vunerable. You watch movies, like Stepmom, and imagine that when your kids are older you will have lots of moments where the whole family is singing and dancing in front of the bedroom mirror using curling irons and brushes as your microphones. You dream of long talks over dinner, with your kids spilling their hearts out to you about everything that is happening in their lives. Oh, and that dinner? Every night it is well balanced and loved by all.  And as your babe lies in your arms, you cannot imagine words like “Ahhhh Dammit” coming out of their mouths, especially in public!

<<Enter screeching record player sound of reality>>

The truth about motherhood is that, yes… we have fun with our kids, but those “movie scene” moments don’t happen as often as we’d like. Dinnertime soul to soul conversations? Haven’t happened for us yet, but with the help of some Food for Talk conversation starters, we are getting there. And that well balanced dinner? It can happen, but sometimes in the form of what we had for dinner the other night… cheese, carrots with ranch, cereal and a slice of turkey lunchmeat. Not what you imagine a food blogger serving up at night, is it? Well, and how about that lovely language coming out of the mouth of my 2 1/2 year old? All I have to do for that one is look in the mirror. Yes… “Dammit” happens to be my cuss word of choice and apparently I’ve been letting it escape from my own mouth far too often lately. Remember this, moms… don’t say anything you don’t want repeated by the little walking voice recorders in your house.

Oh…and one more thing. Learn Karma the easy way. If you plan on raising kids, never, ever lift your eyebrows at something you see a toddler do in a grocery store. Chances are it will come back to haunt you!

So, right now when I tell you that the girls and I enjoyed funnel cakes this morning for breakfast, I expect you to just nod, move on and not judge.

County Fair Funnel Cakes (adapted from Recipezaar)

  1. Beat eggs, sugar and vanilla together and then add the milk slowly–beat. Add the dry ingredients and beat until smooth and creamy.
  2. Pour batter into a funnel and at the same time, use your finger to plug the hole. In a large cast iron pot, add 2 inches of oil to the bottom.
  3. When the oil becomes hot, move your hand over the pot and slowly release your finger so the batter can start cooking.
  4. Move the funnel around to make designs.
  5. Brown on both sides–then immediately remove and drain extremely well.
  6. Top with brown sugar, or honey, or cinnamon sugar, or powdered sugar as a topping.

(Quick tip I learned from a Recipezaar member. If you don’t have a funnel, empty out a squeezable ketchup bottle and wash it thoroughly. Pour your batter into the bottle and squeeze the batter out, using that instead of a funnel. I prefer to do it this way because I can then easily store any leftover batter in the fridge for next go arouund!)

You have until tomorrow night to share your favorite family recipe with my family… you could win an Amazon.com gift certificate for doing so! Head over to this post to find out more.

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Comments

  1. says

    Hehehe! I remember many moments like that! Once, at a Mommy & Me date, my little 14 month-old darling got frustrated about something and sang out “Oh $h*t!” in front of about 20 other moms. I thought I would die from embarrassment. I just blamed it on Grandma! ;)

    I have never made funnel cakes before, though I love them. They look incredibly good!

    Susan at Sticky,Gooey,Creamy,Chewys last blog post..Flavor of the Month: Toasted Coconut-Sesame Brittle Ice Cream

  2. Judy says

    I took my 25 year old daughter to Costco to get her a card. On the way out she was looking at the card and said “what the Hell?” I looked at her picture on her card and it looked like half her teeth were missing. I laughed so hard. So if I saw your sweet little daughter say dammit, I would just smile and say….Oh it just gets better honey!!!!!=)

  3. Amy White says

    OMG…that’s hysterical! I too used to judge other moms who I viewed as not doing much to discipline their children. Now I keep my mouth shut and think that could be me some day. I even pat the lady on the shoulder from time to time and say “it happens to the best of us.” Hang in there and thanks for sharing!

  4. pat/Mom says

    “Oh, Man!” sounds kind of tame now, doesn’t it? Don’t you dare blame it on Grandma…she never cusses….or lies.

  5. says

    Funnel cakes are one of my daughter’s favorites. She’s 26 now but when she was about 7 she was helping her Grandma get the two goldfish out of the bowl so it could be cleaned. Wherever she would put the little net, the fish would swim around it. This went on for several minutes until my daughter blurted out “Come here you little bastard!” LOL She saw the shocked looks on my and my mom’s faces and started crying. She said that she heard her Dad say it to the dogs and thought it meant “Come here you little rascals!” LOL

    Karens last blog post..Carrot Cake Showdown and a Giveaway!

  6. says

    This post made me giggle so much, Kristen! I can just imagine your sweet little angel, lol! Just don’t forget to tell her boyfriend that story when she’s a teenager, that should be fun. :) I need to make funnel cakes, they sound perfect for a lazy weekend. And thanks for the ketchup bottle tip, I’ll keep that in mind.

    LyBs last blog post..TWD – Korova/World Peace Cookies

  7. says

    This is hilarious. I think I wouldn’t have been able to stop laughing in the store, I would have tears in my eyes. Probably not the right reaction, huh? I feel bad for my future kids already….

  8. says

    Oh, that reminds me of a time when I was in the kitchen and my daughter did something that really made me mad. However, in a moment of self-control, I actually controlled my tongue and calmly talked to The Girl about whatever it was.

    My son, only about 3 yo, turns to me and says, “Mom, you forgot to say “Dammit”.

    Gah! All that self-control for nothing! And I realized how quickly I needed to get my act together in order to turn some things around…

    Why do they always listen to the things that we don’t want them to hear!?!

    Shalees last blog post..Sleep: The Final Frontier

  9. says

    Apparently that uptight Mom will have to find out from her daughter’s therapist the less you react the better when kid’s are testing their independence. Criticize funnel cake??? Only if you didn’t serve with butter….

    Butterballs last blog post..Super, Super Sunday!!!

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