We lost a friend to cancer yesterday afternoon. Crissy was the wife of one of my husbands high school best friends. She had a daughter, Gracie, six years ago and then found out just shortly after that she had cancer. Cancer has been a part of her life since then. Crissy fought a very valiant fight… always keeping things real and soldiering on.
Tonight, as I reflect on Crissy and her life, I cannot help but think what power cancer has over people. The power of cancer is a scary thing.
- Cancer has the power to make a woman who is full of life… outgoing, boisterous, and funny… lose all of her external spark and vibrance.
- Cancer can make a mother, who knows that her time is short and fearing the memory of her will be lost, plead with people around her to “No matter what, please let Gracie know I was a great mom and I loved her very much.”
- Cancer has the power to make a man throw out the notion that showing emotion is not acceptable. Distraught at the thought of life without his partner, cancer has the power to make a man overcome with the desire to make things better and to wish that he could do anything to turn back time. A widower at the age of 34, cancer has the power to make us all realize how truly unfair life can be.
- Cancer has the power to make a husband cling to his wife. After spending time and being witness to what his friend is going through, cancer has the power to make a husband plead with his wife “no matter what happens, please don’t die before me.” Cancer makes us realize how lost we would be without one another.
- Cancer has the power to make a precious six year old girl, who has never known her mom without cancer, be forced with the harsh reality that this time it is different. Mommy won’t be coming home with you tonight to tuck you in and dry your tears.
- Cancer has the power to bring people together, to fight for the cause and to hopefully bring a cure home soon. Like the LiveSTRONG day A Taste of Yellow Event, hosted by winosandfoodies…I can guarantee the food blogging community will do their part to raise the awareness of the devastation and power of cancer.
I know that Crissy is now a spunky, beautiful angel, lighting up heaven’s gates. Crissy will be missed by all who knew her, and will be remembered for her strength, smile, character and most of all… the impact she made on her daughters life in the short amount of time.
Lemon Poppyseed Muffins
45 min | 20 min prep | SERVES 10 -12
| 1/2 | cup sweet creamy butter, softened |
| 2/3 | cup sugar |
| 2 | large eggs, separated |
| 1 1/3 | cups flour |
| 1 | teaspoon baking powder |
| 1/2 | teaspoon baking soda |
| 2 | tablespoons poppy seeds |
| 2 | grated lemons, zest of |
| 1/4 | teaspoon salt |
| 1/2 | cup buttermilk or plain yogurt |
| 2 | tablespoons lemon juice |
| 1 | teaspoon vanilla |
- Preheat oven to 350°F Coat muffin tin with nonstick cooking spray.
- In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugar until fluffy.
- Add the egg yolks, one at a time.
- Beat well after each.
- In a separate bowl, stir together the dry ingredients, poppy seeds, and lemon zest.
- With the mixer on low speed, add the dry ingredients to the creamed mixture, alternating two times with the buttermilk, then lemon juice, and then vanilla.
- Beat just until smooth.
- In another bowl, beat the egg whites until soft peaks form.
- Gently fold them into the muffin batter until blended.
- Spoon the batter into the prepared pan, 3/4-full.
- Bake at 350°F for 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
- Cool for 5 minutes before removing to cool completely.
- I sometimes sprinkle the muffin mixture with sugar prior to putting in the oven just to add a little extra sweetness.
{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }
You have me sitting at my desk at work, bawling like a baby. I’m so sorry for your loss – and for Gracie and for Chrissy’s husband. She is obviously a woman that will be missed, but one that left in imprint of her life here on earth.
Life truly is unfair sometimes. I can only hope that your friend’s little girl will feel her mother’s love everyday through the people who knew and loved her. What a thoughtful post Kristen, it made me realize that I should be even more thankful for all that I have, thank you.
This is a very moving entry. I am sure the food blogging community will do its part to raise awareness of the devastating power of cancer.
I am so sorry to hea about your friend. I believe your Blog was a wonderful tribute and my thoughts go out to her family.
I’m sitting her crying, your words are so true and so touching!!! I’ve lost many family members to cancer and I know how hard it is, your words are a testament to Chrissy and her husband and daughter.
Such a great post, I am misty eyed.
Sorry about your friend.
Cancer came to our house. I thought perhaps this would be the ‘other side’. Thinking of you.
WHAT CANCER CANNOT DO
Cancer is so limited…
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope,
It cannot corrode faith,
It cannot destroy peace,
It cannot kill friendship,
It cannot suppress memories,
It cannot silence courage,
It cannot invade the soul,
It cannot steal eternal life,
It cannot conquer the spirit.
So very true Kathryn… Thank you for your perspective!
Kristen you have no idea how powerful you post is. I had considered not running A Taste Of Yellow next year…..until I read your post. You have made me realise how important it is to keep the awareness out there. Thank you so much for supporting LiveSTRONG With A Taste Of Yellow.
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss that you and your friend have suffered. It seems so wrong that someone so young is taken but I can only have faith that God is in control. What a precious gift that little girl is right now to the grieving husband.
Oh Kristen, what a moving post. It breaks my heart to learn of Crissy and her family’s suffering. I will pray for her, for her daughter and her husband…that the family she left behind will eventually find peace in their memories and that love and happiness will persevere over all sadness and despair.
It is simply devastating to lose someone you love, no matter how old or young you are, and my heart goes out to Gracie and her father.
Life can be so hectic, so maddening…and so impossibly beautiful. And there are times, like now, when I am reminded of just how fragile and delicate the balance of life really is.
This post and Kathryn’s perspective are so beautifully perfect together.
Very moving post Kristen!
beautiful post. i have to admit, i skimmed parts of it – i lost both parents to cancer and have had it myself, and felt myself starting to get teary at my desk.
i really need to get off my butt, i want to participate in the livestrong event.
Beautiful muffins and a beautiful remembrance post for Chrissy.
I have tears in my eyes, Kristen. Beautiful post. I’m sorry for your loss but love the way you remember your friend.
I was 1 year older than Gracie when I lost my mom to cancer. I wish her all the best, truly do.
I’m so sorry for your loss Kristen. Your post was beautiful.
oh gosh, I am crying at work. What a beautiful post. I wish I had know Crissy. So sorry for your loss.
Congrats on the new site!
Hi Kristen – a very thought provoking post. Unfortunately, we all know someone who has been affected by cancer. Sorry for your loss.
Kristen, I am in tears. It reminded me of what my dad said at my brother’s funeral “parents should not be burrying their children…it’s just wrong” and he fell apart, an army man who had never diplayed emotions. If only one good thing came out of it is that that day I really met my dad.
Words won’t work quite well in the coming weeks but hugs and actions will speak to her husband and her daughter. I wish you and them all the best in this difficult time.
Heaven’s a little brighter these days huh? If that’s possible it is. Cancer is viscious. Life seems so unfair at times especially when a 6 year old loses her mommy. Keep those memories alive, she’ll need them later. Take care…
I came here to congratulate for the move… and ended up crying like a baby, what a beautiful entry, I admire what kathryn said here too it complemented your message. Take care of that baby, she needs her mommy’s friend by her side now.
So sorry for the loss, all around…
I like your new home.
Your post is heart wrenching and wonderful at the same time. I am very moved by your words. There are no words able to fill the void left by your friend but I love the image of her as a spunky angel. I thank Kathryn for her reply here and wish to echo the sentiment. The love she left behind is not lost.
xoxo
Gabi
This is so sad, Kristen. I’m so very sorry for your loss and even more sorry for the loss of sweet little Gracie. My heart is with her.
I am so sorry for your loss….and, as so often happens here, I feel that I can really relate to your words. In fact, reading your post I just realized that in a couple of weeks it will be exactly forty years since my mother died of cancer and left behind a six year old daughter, an eleven year old son and a bereft husband. What you say about the power of cancer is so honest and true.
My heart goes out to Gracie and her dad. Though Crissy has joined my mother in a place where cancer holds no sway, she is still a part of Gracie and her dad and always will be. I feel certain she cannot be forgotten.
Thank you for your beautiful post and for helping make us all aware that cancer still takes too many people too soon.
Tears fall as I read this, and find myself at a loss for words….
My heart goes out to little Gracie and her dad, and to all her loved ones.
My condolences. A life taken so early is heartbreaking.
Oh K, I am so sorry for your loss- and so sorry for Crissy’s family. Cancer…man. I don’t even know what to say except your post totally made me tear up. It’s the scariest thing in the world and I’m beyond grateful I don’t have it. Over the rainbow, and it really puts all the little things into perspective, you know what I mean??
I can’t help but think about Gracie tonight. Poor baby girl. And her husband…I don’t care what ANY man says, macho or not, it’s a scary thought for any man.
((((HUGS))))
Kristen, I’m just catching up on your posts and came across this one. There are no words. My family has been touched by cancer, too. We’re the lucky ones though, as my brother is “cancer-free.” At least as of now. You just never know…
I am so sorry about your friend. Life is so damned fragile. Hug those you love. Smile at those you don’t know. Be kind. Be there. What else can you do?
I’m misting up. Thanks for the reminder of how we need to cling to our loved ones and my prayers are with you and your friend’s family.
Francie
Very sorry for your loss, your post was beautiful!
What a riveting story. My thoughts and prayers are with your family and Crissy’s. Every time I make lemon poppyseed muffins I’ll think of all of you.
This is beautiful. I think Crissy must be in the “spunky angels club” with my friend Sheena who left two little boys and a sad husband too.
What a beautiful moving post, words cannot express the sadness I feel for your friend’s family, Gracie and Crissy’s husband. No one deserves to go through this sort of pain.
What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful friend. x x
Very well written Kristen. I was reading it and crying. My mom just beat the second part of her cancer (just finished her radiation last Friday) so this hit close to home. At the worst, when we didn’t know what was going to happen, I would cry thinking that my children would never get a chance to know how much she loved them. I can’t even imagine how hard this most of been for your friend. My heart goes out to the whole family.
I am so sorry for your loss-
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God bless you and Crissy and her family and friends. What a lovely tribute. I think you’re right, she’s a spunky beautiful energy, today as she must have been on earth.
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Beautiful words in memory of what sounds like a beautiful woman! Thanks for sharing that with us.
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